Scandalous Sports

Star Studded

2006-07-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Now that Jessica Simpson has shed off Lachey and his Bearcat, Reds loving persona, she films an addictive video for A Public Affair. Sure it doesn't come close to Sweetest Sin, but the similarity to Madonna's Holiday music makes it catchy. What makes this video hot is the allstar cast that Jess assembled to make the video. Jessica Simpson, Christina Applegate, Christina Milian, AND Eva Longoria. What a line up? To help you field a fantasy football line up each week with the star power this quartet has, here are my Top 10 fantasy football players for 2006.

1. Larry Johnson
2. Shaun Alexander
3. LaDainian Tomlison
4. Clinton Portis
5. Edgerrin James
6. Ronnie Brown
7. Tiki Barber
8. Lamont Jordan
9. Steven Jackson
10. Steve Smith

Lionheart

2006-07-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

Time to start ranking some of the guys for those early mock drafts. Hopefully these guys will use their legs instead of their heads like Zidane. Speaking of great use of their legs check out Van Damme in this clip. This is the type of stuff that used to piss off GV at all those dances in college. If this were present time, imagine the background music set to Yung Joc.

1. Neil Rackers
2. Adam Vinatieri
3. Shayne Graham
4. Jason Elam
5. David Akers

A New Beginning

2006-07-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

If you don't want to be bringing in the new fantasy season like this guy brought in the new year, then start getting your draft sheets ready. Here is my updated top 10. Maybe GV will get off his butt and start doing some posts too.

1. Shawn Alexander
2. LaDainian Tomlinson
3. Larry Johnson
4. Edgerrin James
5. Clinton Portis
6. Steven Jackson
7. Peyton Manning
8. Tiki Barber
9. Steve Smith
10. LaMont Jordan

First Impressions

2006-05-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

Now that the draft is over, just a few impressions of how some first rounders might fair next year with their new teams. When all is said and done, don't act like this guy when these rookies don't deliver for you in Madden (warning: language not safe for work)

Reggie Bush (Saints)-Count on some special teams scores and some good highlights, but 10tds would be a stretch...think Warrick Dunn in his early years.

Matt Leinart (Cardinals)-He'll be starting by week 4 when Warner goes down and he should be at the minimum a safe start. He doesnt turn the ball over and has enough weapons to get you by every week.

Vince Young (Titans)-He should be starting by midseason too...a second stringer at this point since he may struggle with his reads and cant outrun everyone. Leinart is the safer fantasy pick.

Jay Cutler (Broncos)-Probably wont see the field but has ok potential as a keeper. Not worth a draft pick unless Plummer goes down.

Vernon Davis (49ers)-This guy is the real deal and I would expect at least 8 TDs from him this year. This guy might slip under the radar with a lot of other high profile TEs out there but this guy has the luxury of being the only passing option on his team.

Santonio Holmes (Steelers)-Great long term potential but the Steelers like to work the ball around. Even without Randle-El its hard to imagine Holmes making a large impact...could help you as a 4th receiver.

The Race for the Roses

2006-05-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

... Roses
... Big hats
... Cigars
... Bo Derek
... And yes, a $1,000 mint julep

The Kentucky Derby is here. Below are my top three finishers for this year's big race. So go grab the funniest hat you own out of your closet, mix up a refreshing mint julep in your favorite plastic tumbler you brought home from a baseball game you attended three years ago, sit back and relax while you enjoy one of the best two minutes of the year.

First Place: AP Warrior

Second Place: Lawyer Ron

Third Place: Brother Derek

Where have we been?

2006-04-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

Agent GV has awoken with two major posts, but the beginning of this video shows what I had to do to wake him up.

Jordan vs. Bird

2006-04-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

I remember when this game came out around 1992 and a few of my friends and I would gather around that NES system to play. Of course you would blow into the cartridge to remove dust (what a bogus myth) and start the system up. It seemed everyone would line up to be Michael Jordan. They preferred the aerial style attack of Jordan over the finesse play of Larry Bird. I on the other hand, a Celtics fan, would gladly take Larry Bird and his money three pointer from the corner. Sure, dunks are nice to see and brings excitement to the game, but I would rather bask in victory. Guys would always try to blow by Bird on the baseline and one hand dunk and while that worked 1 out of 3 times, I would simply take the rebound, take a couple steps back to the arc and fire off that tre. Easy points. Those were the good old days. Now it's Lebron vs. Kobe. And with the NBA Playoffs set, here are my picks to win.

EAST
Milwaukee vs. Detroit: Detroit Pistons because I want to see Kid Rock in the stands.
Chicago vs. Miami: I really want to pick the Bulls, but the Miami Heat turns on the afterburners in the playoffs.
Indiana vs. New Jersey: New Jersey Nets because I went up to Jermaine O'Neal in Disneyland last summer and he blew me off.
Washington vs. Cleveland: Washington Bullets... errr... Wizards because they are all offense and the Cavs Donyell Marshall ruined my fantasy team.

WEST
Sacramento vs. San Antonio: San Antonio Spurs featuring Eva Langoria
Los Angeles Lakers vs. Phoenix: Phoenix Suns as long as Steve Nash is healthy.
Los Angeles Clippers vs. Denver: Los Angeles... Clippers?
Memphis vs. Dallas: Dallas Mavericks and monkey boy Mark Cuban jumping everywhere.

East Conference Semis:
Detroit vs. Washington: Detroit Pistons are just too good.
New Jersey vs. Miami: Miami Heat

West Conference Semis:
San Antonio vs. Dallas: Dallas with great playoff coaching by Avery Johnson
Los Angeles Clippers vs. Phoenix: Phoenix Suns

East Conference Finals:
Detroit vs. Miami: Miami Heat

Western Conference Finals:
Dallas vs. Phoenix: Phoenix Suns

Finals:
Miami vs. Phoenix

Miami Heat win.

This should be one of the more exciting playoffs we have had in the past few years. I have laid out my picks for the playoffs, but I will be cheering for a Washington Wizards vs. LA Clippers finals.

Welcome Suri!

2006-04-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

I believe it was May 14th, 2003 when my Wednesday night's took a downhill turn. It was the night when it was revealed to the world that Joey Potter chose Pacey over Dawson. It was then night when I finally came to terms with the fact that Joey's decision making was one of the worst I have ever seen. For six seasons I could not admit to myself that Joey was this bad. It was her crooked smile and small town looks that had me look past this flaw - the hopes that she would turn six seasons of agony into happiness in one night by choosing Dawson. Well some much for those hopes.
Few years later, Joey continues to disappoint by dropping American Pie's "Suck Me Beautiful" for Jerry Maguire. Now they welcome Baby Girl Suri. Congratulations to both Katie and Tom on your new baby.
After sitting quietly for three months, Scandalous Sports will resume with baseball insights and the occasional football insights as Draft Day approaches and summer camps open. I tell you, it's been one hectic first quarter for Flying Dagger and myself. Whether it was work or after hours, our lives were inundated with madness. So I'll open up my baseball predictions for division, wildcard, and world series winners.
Yeah, I know it's two weeks past the season opener, but you just have to understand all the mud FD and I had to deal with. Anyhow, here are the winners:

American League
West: LA Angels- the A's are the fancy pick, but I just think the Angels are better built to last the rigors of a full season.
Central: Chicago White Sox- Good pitching, great coaching and the Indians are still young to claim the division crown.
East: New York Yankees- Their pitching will come around.
Wild Card winner: Cleveland Indians- this team will make a run just like the Indians of the mid 1990's team. The A's have a tough September schedule and will miss out as Boston and Cleveland battle for that wildcard.

National League
West: Pick em... just kidding. The San Francisco Giants- They may be old, but they will benefit from this and take the West.
Central: Houston Astros- because they are my favorite team. And because they will acquire a good pitcher before the trade deadline to bolster their rotation. That reminds me, I have to call Roger again later today.
East: Atlanta Braves- This team is still in winter hibernation. As soon as they wake up, they will be good enough to win this division. The Mets should consider bringing back Al Leiter if they are serious about making a run.
Wild Card winner: St. Louis Cardinals- They will win every single home game because Pujols will go 3-4 with multi homer games. But the road trips will be a different story.

World Series
New York Yankees vs. Houston Astros

Houston wins!

Year of the Dog

2006-01-30T09:22:00.000-08:00

Happy belated Chinese New Year to all! I ventured over to my old college town this weekend for some great Michael's Pizza and a haircut from my favorite salon. While waiting for my haircut, I realized the Chinese new year partying must have continued all through the morning as firecrackers were popping everywhere. Kids and adults were walking around tossing those little poppers at each other's feet. All this scene needed was a little Sister Christian playing in the background.
2006 is the Year of the Dog and I'm telling you right now, betting on a dog, an underdog, this weekend will pay out for you. The Seahawks are a 4 point underdog right now and are not getting any love from the media. Everyone is focused on poster boy Rothlisberger and how The Bus will make it's final stop where it all started. The Steeler nation has flooded the streets of Detroit, but I'm telling you that the power of Starbucks will prevail as the Seahawks will pull the upset. I believe the Seahawks have a better running game than the Steelers and can play action as well as the Steelers. Playing indoors on turf should benefit the Seahawks offense more than the Steelers.
I'm looking forward to a great game this weekend, especially after the blowouts we witnessed in the Conference Championship games. I also can't wait to see more Godaddy.com commercials too.

On another note, I finally saw Friday Night Lights last night. It was a good, entertaining movie. Though I can't see how a team the size of Permian almost pulled the upset against what seemed to be then the future offensive line of the Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl run team. Good movie, I give it a rating of 3.5 on a 1-5 scale.

2 Weeks Of Hype

2006-01-22T20:15:00.000-08:00

It was an interesting day at my place on Sunday. Agent GV managed to puncture a hole in my wall while attempting a Kobe Bryant like fadeaway with a dart during a game of cricket. It was a bad day overall for GV with his picks and failure to recognize Jay Hernandez. But at least he learned who Alex Ovechkin is.

On to the game, I reserve the right to change later but for now we're going Steelers 24 Seahawks 17.

A Fly in My Soup

2006-01-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

Nine and twelve years in prison for a fraud insurance claim. That's the sentence a judge ordered for a couple from San Jose, CA who claimed they found a severed finger in a bowl of chili from Wendy's (which I might add is good for those cold nights). Did they really think they were going to get away with this? What's crazier is the amount of prison time? Really?... Nine years for this hoax? They tell a little fib that had many holes in the story and get prison time, while we have drivers with multiple DUI's out on the road everyday and all they get slapped with is a small fine and a month without driving. Like not having a driver's license in your wallet keeps one from driving. I am not saying that this "finger lickin' good" couple didn't get what they deserve, but let's have a reasonable punishment scale and if we are going to put someone away for this long on a hoax, let's consider the danger of an influenced person operating a vehicle. I guess it doesn't matter, this couple will probably be released for good behavior. If I was an inmate in that same institution, I would request that the couple be banned from any kitchen duties.
Speaking of ridiculous things, my picks last week were horrendous. I already mentioned last my picks for this week. I would like to take a mulligan and make a change on one of my picks. I believe the smart money pick would be on Denver. Take the points. I believe the scrambling ability of Jake Plummer will throw off the Steeler defense slightly and enough to put up some points. Look for a great, close game decided by an Elam field goal.
I am still holding on to the Panthers pick for this weekend and to win the Super Bowl. They are playing sound and fundamental football and their defense is playing great. These two picks should put me at the .500 mark and as an added bonus, look for Scandaloussports favorite Maria Sharapova to win the women's Aussie Open and for A-Rod to win the men's side.
Oh snap, gotta go... I see my wife in an intense conversation with the supermarket cashier. I'm a man and have to defend my family by jumping onto the conveyer belt and confronting the red apron wearing, acne-riddled teenager. Who does he think he is?! Better recognize!

The Err of My Ways

2006-01-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

Wow, even on my only correct pick, I was still wrong on Jake's performance and the Bear's offense. Great coaching by Coach Fox. The Carolina defense played great. I also think Goings is a better RB for that team than Foster. And great game by Rex Grossman. He looked a bit confused out there early on, but he seemed to collect himself as the game progressed.
Thank you Vanderjagt for missing that 46 yd field goal by 46 yds wide right. What were you thinking? What happened out there Vandy? And what about that Colts fan wearing the blue Colts jersey, sitting infront of Jerome Bettis' parents? His looked annoyed the entire game. I'm sure Momma Bettis was giving him an earful. Coach Cower had his team ready. They never let up on the defensive pressure. And now we all know that the Steelers can beat you via air or via ground.
What up 'Skins? I really believed in you guys. The Redskins were still in the game and needed a key stop on a third and long in the fourth quarter. Unfortunately, Mack Strong broke off a 30+ yd run keeping the drive going and leaving little time for the Redskins to make a comeback. At least I was right about Portis outrushing Alexander. I don't care how he did it, I just need to point out some positive predictions from last week.
And I hate the Broncos! That team has one of the most unfair homefield advantages, cheap run blocking, and a QB who's mustache was his claim to fame this season. I just hope that I don't see the Broncos in the Super Bowl.
And apologies to Michelle Wie for the jinx I placed on you. I only meant to wish you some good luck and that didn't work out well.
For now, I'll be working on trying to break Tyson's record for solving a Rubik's Cube one handed.

Super Bowl Predictions

2006-01-15T22:59:00.000-08:00

Agent GV probably melted down like Bobby Knight after he stretched his string of great predictions to his playoff picks.

Look for the Steelers vs. the Panthers in Detroit. or I might give you a game face.

Divisional Playoffs

2006-01-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

Round 2 of the NFL playoffs are upon us and some of you fantasy football junkies may need to make up some money quickly. If you were fortunate to have won your league championship, you are probably enjoying your winnings at Vegas or bought yourself a nice new electronic toy. I myself, ended up winning two leagues out of the five I participated in. I advanced to the playoffs in all but one... of course that one was the one that Flying Dagger killed any playoff hopes I had. Anyhow, you lost your league, you spent a bundle on the holidays, and you figured you'd recoup that somehow by betting it all on USC.
To turn things around, I'm giving you my picks for this week's divisional playoffs.

New England @ Denver (-3)
My Pick: New England
Weather shouldn't be a factor as both are cold weather teams. New England is playing their best football of the season and aren't going to let Plummer beat them. I see New England scheming well enough to disrupt Plummer and force him to make some turnovers.

Washington @ Seattle (-9)
My Pick: Washington
Gibbs can still coach. Washington should be able to pass on the Seahawks and let Portis outgain Alexander on the ground. Alexander will get his 100 yds and a score, but that won't be enough as the Skins take this game in a close match.

Carolina @ Chicago (-3)
My Pick: Carolina
I really don't know if Chicago should be favored in this one. This would mean that Chicago can put up points. Both of these teams may stop each other's rush game, so the load will fall onto the QB's shoulders. Will Delhomme or Grossman make less mistakes? Who will be able to audible that screen pass when they read a blitz package? Delhomme is the experienced QB here. Don't expect a great passing game from Jake. Maybe similar numbers to last week, but look for special teams to make a play in this game.

Pittsburgh @ Indianapolis (-9 1/2)
My Pick: Indianapolis
I believe Pittsburgh will come out throwing as everyone is expecting a run attack. I see Roethlisberger tossing a deep pass in the first two plays to loosen up the rush defense. However, Indy should move the ball easily and score. Indy wins, but don't cover the spread.

Good luck to all and good luck to Michelle Wie!

Top 10 2006 Fantasy Picks

2006-01-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

While this is all still fresh in my mind, let me throw out my big boards for the 2006 draft. Of course, a number of things may change between now and then, but I'd go like this if thedraft were tomorrow.

1. LaDainian Tomlinson
2. Shaun Alexander
3. Larry Johnson
4. Edgerrin James
5. Carson Palmer
6. Peyton Manning
7. Steve Smith
8. Rudi Johnson
9. LaMont Jordan
10. Tiki Barber

Please don't draft Reggie Bush with the 11th pick.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T17:59:00.000-08:00

Well, it wasn't a great fantasy football year for me as close just doesn't cut it. At least GV had an equally bad year and now has to pay shipping on our fantasy league trophy. Oh well, at least I knew I had little chance to win while I went on a trip overseas. Imagine mys urprise to find out I scored a season high while I was away only to find out I still lost. at least I didn't feel as bad as the guy in this video did.

Oh well, to help ease the pain I can always go to the Bakery Shop.

Week 16 Picks

2005-12-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-Last one of the year since GV is too lazy to write posts and do these picks himself. I'm off to Japan to write Memoirs of a Geisha 2. Good luck with your fantasy playoffs and Happy Chrismukah.
Agent GV-Look who's finally making an appearance. By now some leagues have a crowned champion if not whittled it down to 2-4 teams. Congrats if you are still playing or won your league. For those losers like me, you are not alone if your season ended. Other things have ended as well like, Jessica and Nick file for divorce, Renee and Kenny were annulled, and I ran out of hazelnut creamer. But the start of something beautiful began this week as Elton John finally tied the knot. You go boy!
Happy Holidays to everyone.
On a more serious note, we here at Scandaloussports send our deepest sympathy to the Dungy family this holiday weekend.

Week 15 Picks

2005-12-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

At The Movies

2005-12-14T20:19:00.000-08:00

No, me and GV are not on the outs like Siskel and Ebert, we have just mysteriously been busy for the past couple of weeks. Him with work and family and me?....well thats a story for another time. In the meantime, you're either knee deep in playoffs, waiting for your keeper league to draft or waiting to see where Nomar is going to sign.

Just some quick playoff advice from someone who has 2 teams left.

Don't stop scouring the waiver wire...think ahead and see which teams may have nothing to play for. 3 quarters out of a scrub may be much better than 1 quarter out of a guy who has nothing to play for.

Look for 2nd year players to come up large...this is when these guys start to shine when their bodies get used to the NFL rigors and they start realizing they can capitalize on the other guys who are taking the rest of the year off.

Air it out...long touchdowns historically come in larger bunches in the late season. probably because guys are tired of chasing down other guys and most teams have little to lose...look to fill flex positions with wrs instead of beat up rbs at the end.

Week 14 Picks

2005-12-08T19:58:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-Heisman order of finish: Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, Vince Young, Brady Quinn, Drew Olson

Week 13 Picks

2005-11-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-The bet here is that Indy goes 15-1 with a loss to Seattle. Look for big weeks from the "new" qbs and the back from "questionable" rbs. Charlize and her black hairdo wont unseat anyone this weekend but will do well. Don't forget to visit our lil sisters page to help vote for our new class.
Agent GV-Sneazing, fevers, and earaches was my theme for November. Time to get back on track. Worried about the horseshoe dilemma? I don't believe the Colts will sit out the last two or three games. That's absurd. Look for the Colts to start every game, but don't expect them to play the entire second half after they clinch homefield.

Mixing Business With Pleasure

2005-11-29T19:52:00.000-08:00

A very dangerous mix...as Maverick once said "If the government trusts me maybe you could?" to which Charlie replied "It takes more than just fancy flying." The fantasy equivalent of this is the love affair you have with certain guys who you feel will lead you to the promised land. These guys are almost guaranteed to cause you heartache should you go with them, but nevertheless you pursue and stick with them until your fantasy season ends prematurely. In short, mixing business with pleasure can be very hazardous to your fantasy football health so please be wary of these "alleged" great plays down the stretch.

Corey Dillon-Since Belicheck is Belichecking it, you cant really gauge this guy...what you do know is that the Patriots will clinch their division and give this guy as much rest as he needs for the playoffs.

Tony Gonzalez-KC's schedule is brutal down the stretch and teams still know they should key in on him to stop them and let the WRS beat you.

Stephen Davis-He's already losing carries to DeShaun Foster and who knows when his knee is going to give out. The Panthers need him fresh for the playoffs so use him at your own risk.

Willie Parker-The RB committee will be a 3 headed monster from here on out and none of them our reliable on a week to week basis. Even Verron Haynes could stillg et into this mix.

Week 12 Picks

2005-11-23T00:54:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-Look for Emmanuelle Chiriqui to outgross Amy Smart at this weekend's box office. As usual, Cowboys yes and Lions no on Turkey day. And don't forget to wear a cup on black friday.
Agent GV-If you missed out on watching the musical RENT live, don't worry. It's out on big screen for about $10 a person. cheaper than the $75 you would have forked out for the live performance. And now is the time to keep a bookmark on those east coast games as weather will became a factor.

Some Are Dead in Hollywood

2005-11-22T00:31:00.000-08:00

There are truly no bigger turkeys than Talan, but in honor of Turkey Day this year I present the guys who will make the All-Turkey team from here on out. Sell high on these guys from here on out cause their best games are behind them.

Kevan Barlow-ok, he probably didnt have many good games to begin with but this Sunday was the nail in the coffin. Mo Hicks will get his flash like he did last year plus they still have Frank Gore. Remember when Barlow never recovered from the concussion last year?

Julius Jones-well he is healthy now and Barber still got the red zone touches so it is officially time to cut him loose if you need the points.

Brian Westbrook-fragile to begin with and no help around him will leave him with few chances to make a difference the rest of the year.

Chris Chambers-only because I never call this guy out for anything and his team doesnt ever seem to score as it is.

Jamal Lewis-another no duh pick. They are out and he might as well pack his bag as he is outta town with this year's performance...look elsewhere while you still can.

I am especially thankful this year for my new favorite website Kineda

Let's Give Thanks

2005-11-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

The holidays are upon us and Thanksgiving week is here. For most of us, that means family gatherings, friends get-togethers, a turkey, and a plenty of delicious side dishes. And of course, you can't forget the Lions and the Cowboys.
However, this year, as is every year, there are many families that need some assistance to make these holidays a bit more festive. So I encourage all to give a can a food or a dollar to your local charity and help out.
And to kickoff this week, here are a few things that I am thankful for having in my life. My list is long, but here is a condensed version. I'd love to hear what everyone else is thankful for too.
I'm thankful for...
- My wife, my kids, and good health
-Family and friends
-having Larry Johnson on all my fantasy teams
-Everyone on the SS Little Sisters Page
-Remote controls
-Google
-Whole wheat tortillas
-Podesto's Sandwich Deli
-Maxim Magazine
-Nick Jr.
-Laguna Beach
-Kevin Smith and View Askew
-two-ply
-Coke Zero
-our kid's pediatrician
-Not having Terrell Owens on my fantasy teams
-The Houston Astros advancing to the World Series (nice to see Bagwell and Biggio finally make it)
-Tom Izzo
-scotchguarded carpet
-instant messaging
-Spice Girls
-weedkiller
-Viva Burrito
-Transformers
-DVD burners
-drive thru ATMs
-hazelnut lattes
-Jell-O pudding pops
-crushed ice
-fantasy sports (of course)

And blogs... without them, how else can we share our thoughts with the rest of the world. I hope you take a moment to realize the most important things in your life and to be thankful for having them. I wish you all the best.

and my Turkey Day picks:
Atlanta over Detroit
Stud: TJ Duckett
Dud: Roy Williams
Sleeper: Marcus Pollard

Dallas over Denver
Stud: Terry Glenn
Dud: Jake Plummer
Sleeper: Rod Smith

Week 11 Picks

2005-11-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-congratulations this week to Talan Torriero and the 7th floor crew from da "U". Look for Cincy to beat Indy this week as the upset special.
Agent GV-Laguna Beach concluded this week, bringing an emptiness to Monday nights. I will be looking forward to The Hills and LB3. If you are looking to find ways of spending that extra $20 in your pocket, bet on Cincy and Tennessee as they pull the upsets this week.

We Were Inverted

2005-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

If you take a look back at our preseason big boards you might say that GV and I are full of crap. Kind of like how GV insinuated I was full of crap about an undisclosed topic earlier in the week. It has been a tough season with seemingly endless injuries, but you can still hope to salvage precious games at the end. I'll focus on some QBs you may want to take a look at as they may get playing time when the regular season means nothing, but your playoffs mean everything.

Jim Sorgi-Colts... Very popular pick here but he makes sense. Peyton may only get a half in in up to the last 3 games....The Colts have weapons all over their depth chart so even an average day can help you.

Matt Schaub-Falcons....If you see this guy on the waiver wire keep in mind that he always plays well and Vick always gets knicked. If the Falcons close in early on a playoff spot, you have a gem here.

Charlie Frye-Browns....The local boy should get his shot soon and he cant be much worse than what is out there. They have decent receivers in Cleveland so give him a shot if you can spare the spot.

Mike McMahon-Eagles....We don't know if McNabb will shut it down, but this guy can run as he showed in Detroit and he can make plays....plus they love to throw the rock in Philly.

Week 10 Picks

2005-11-10T00:20:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-Pulling even and not looking in the rear view mirror. Look for the 49ers to pull the upset off in Chicago this weekend. Enjoy this weekend's games and don't go watch Zathura.
Agent GV- I feel like the NY Knicks right now as I can't seem to put a winning streak together in any of my picks. Kurt Warner may not be my answer, but G-Unit should come through with the playas and haters this weekend. See you at the Candy Shop. Holla!

First Half Awards

2005-11-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Flying Dagger and the rest of the media, I spent over an hour yesterday trying to bring up the Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders page. That site must have received hundreds of hits bogging it down for me to view. And as I tired myself by clicking "refresh" on my browser, I began to think of who were the most impressive and unimpressive players for the first half of the season.
Here are the Agent GV Awards given to a player at each of the typical skill positions followed by the runner up team. Any other players not mentioned can take their 10th place ribbons and hang them in their own Gaylord Wall of Fame:

Agent GV Quarterback Award goes to... Carson Palmer (CIN). He's in the top three in QB rating, passing yards, and touchdowns and only has thrown five INTs. He's matured tremendously, beginning with the last few games of last year.

Agent GV Running Back Award goes to... LaDainian Tomlison (SDG). Given that the RBs this year have not been the greatest crop to pick from, LT2 edges out King Alexander because of his receiving abilities.

Agent GV Wide Receiver Award goes to... Steve Smith (CAR). By far, the best receiver in the league. Leads all in receptions, yards, and TDs. He's making DBs look foolish and all this with no real complimentary receiver on the other end. However, he does need to polish up his end zone celebrations a bit. The "row boat" was pretty funny though. And he still runs back kick and punt returns.

Agent GV Tight End Award goes to... Antonio Gates (SDG). The award would have gone to Jeremy Shockey, but Gates is so physically dominating on the defenses. He ranks 7th in receiving yards, that's more than either Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, Torry Holt, and Andre Johnson.

Agent GV Kicker Award goes to... Neil Rackers (ARI). This guy... sheesh. Seems like everytime I face him, he's kicking three FGs and 2 XPs. Has not missed yet this year, that includes 4 FG from 50+yds out. This guy is a machine.

Agent GV IDP Award goes to... Dwight Freeney (IND). Everyone is on this guy's bandwagon and rightfully so. He has greatly improved a Colt's defense that has been abused for many years. He has affected offensive scheming to call run plays away from Freeney.

Agent GV Best Coach Award goes to... Tom Coughlin (NYG) . Has a very independent Plaxico Burress, an aging Tiki Barber, and a second year QB Eli Manning leading his team to the top of the division at 6-2. He has done a great job so far in taking his mix of characters and having them work together focusing on one goal.

Runner-up Team:

QB: Peyton Manning (IND)
RB: Shaun Alexander (SEA)
WR: Terrell Owens (PHI)
TE: Jeremy Shockey (NYG)
K: Jay Feeley (NYG)
IDP: Jonathan Vilma (NYJ)
Coach: Tony Dungy (IND)

Now that these guys have received their recognition, I hope they don't turn out like Bobby Abreu and deliver a poor second half.

Help Wanted

2005-11-08T20:06:00.000-08:00

Looking for a job? Well there are two Carolina Panther cheerleaders who are looking for work today. This story just hasn't seemed to have gotten old...I wouldn't be surprised if they were on the Vikings' Love Cruise. Of course if they don't want jobs as Tom Cruise's publicist then they might be out of work unless they are looking to audition for the next 49ers public relations video. Speaking of out of work, its the time of year when the waiver wire work is key...make sure you look at these guys who may still be available on your waiver wire.

Bryant Johnson-One week wonder he may not be...don't assume that Boldin is coming back soon and WRs are a premium if they can be consistent over the 2nd half of the season.

Doug Gabriel-a lot of guys may have cut him when they thought Porter and Moss were on the road to recovery but these 2 guys have injury history. Raiders will continue to chuck it so make sure you have a backup plan.

Brandon Jacobs-a few owners may have given up on him recently when he wasn't producing but he is getting into the endzone and the Giants will look to rest Barber more in the 2nd half.

Matt Jones-he looks better every week and he gets touches in the open field so look be ready to pounce if he starts putting up 4-5 catches.

Brad Johnson-he's older than dirt and the Vikings are the Vikings, but this guy has always produced at least non-negative numbers in his career. Next to the picture of an ex-girlfriend that Agent GV presented me, I'd say this came a close second for biggest surprise of the week. If he can do 2/3 of what he did last Sunday, you have gold most weeks.

You Make Me Wanna La La

2005-11-06T21:24:00.000-08:00

There are few things I find more enjoyable than embarrassing Ashlee Simpson stories. Of course if you know Ashlee, you know that embarrassing stories like her escapade at McDonald's are quite dependable. I haven't laughed so hard since Agent GV offered to buy me my favorite candy bar, to which I replied "Almond Roca". That tin lasted me a good 5 weeks...thanks!

What happened this weekend, just like Ashlee, our alleged dependable boys put up a good week at the same time? An odd phenomenon but how did these guys all come through in the same week as Ashlee?

Michael Vick-take it, any time you get 200 yards and he doesn't run, it seems like you struck gold. Look for a few more disappointing performances now that you have a reason to start him.

Michael Bennett/Duce Staley-these 2 guys rose from the dead on Sunday and now might be looking really good depending on the severity of what was a really bad day for running backs. These 2 guys are proven so take a flier on them soon.

Andre Johnson-could it be that the gold standard for fantasy mediocrity actually put a good game together? well he didn't score but in most leagues he probably matched his season output today. look for him to at least be a decent 3rd wr the rest of the way.

Halfway Home

2005-11-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

This year, as is every year in the NFL, has been puzzling to me. Parity does play tricks on the fantasy player and the degenerate gambler, but shouldn't some things be easier to predict? The NFL is beloved by the world because of this parity.
Well, we are about to play out Week 9 and this marks the halfway point of the regular season. Below are my predictions on how the season would end. I will briefly explain what went right, what went wrong, or to sit tight in relation to their current standing.

On Monday, August 22, 2005, Agent GV predicted the following in his "Free Your Minds" article:
Here are my predictions for division and wild cards for 2005:
AFC:
East- New England Patriots: Who else in East can compete with this talent?
Right: 1st place. Miami is in second, but the most complete team in this division are the Patriots. Things are only going to get better as the snow begins to fall.
North- Pittsburgh Steelers: I love Cincinnati this year, but Pittsburgh still has Cowher to manager their defense.
Sit tight: 2nd place. Pittsburgh has already beaten Cincy on the road and Pittsburgh has the easier schedule of the two. If the Steelers win their next meeting, it's a runaway for the division.
South- Indianapolis Colts: Dungy always assembles a great team, but never a Super Bowl contender.
Right: 1st place. Runaway here. Unless the Colts sustain significant injuries to their top 3 players, I don't see Jacksonville catching up.
West- Kansas City Chiefs: O-line and Vermeil are getting older. This is the year to make run.
Sit tight: 2nd place. Two games behind the division leader Broncos. The Broncos have played incredibly well at home, but susceptible on the road. With five of the remaining eight games on the road, look for the Chiefs to make up some ground and take the division.
Wild Cards: San Diego Chargers and Houston Texans
Sit tight on the Bolts: 3rd place with 4-4 record. They ended up with the toughest schedule in the league. If they can finish 9-7 or better, they can still win the wild card and be the best prepared team for the playoffs.
Bust pick: I strongly believed the Texans were going to catch many by surprise. Now Carr has the Bledsoe flinch when he sees a defender coming around the corner. Their schedule doesn't get any easier either.
NFC:
East- Washington Redskins: No believers out there. I like Gibbs this year to finally catch up to the new millennium of football.
Bad pick: I picked this team to win with Ramsey as their QB. A few minutes into the season and that was it for him. They have a long road ahead of them still and if Portis isn't producing, look for this team to sit at the .500 level.
North- Minnesota Vikings: No more headaches with Moss. Gotta give Mike Tice more Super Bowl tickets to scalp.
Bad pick (you think)-I should have know this was going to happen. As long as Tice is head coach, this team isn't going to win. As long as the Bear defense holds, so will their lead.
South- Carolina Panthers: Always tough. Great balance on offense and defense.
Sit tight: Tied for 1st by record. Tampa Bay doesn't have a QB and are running with at rookie RB. Atlanta D is overrated and Vick's ability to throw the ball to the opponent will cost them the division. A health Panther team is a scary team.
West- Seattle Seahawks: Weak division. Look for a mirror image of what's happening this year in baseball's NL West.
Right: 1st place. As long as they don't implode, they should be able to ride on Shaun Alexander's legs to the division title.
Wild Cards: Atlanta and Philadelphia
Right: Both teams have the talent to win. As long as they can outplay the Cowboys, each of these teams should take a wildcard berth.
Super Bowl: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Carolina Panthers
Sit tight: This is still very possibly.

Enjoy the second half.

Week 9 Picks

2005-11-03T10:49:00.000-08:00

Flying Dagger-Lots of great matchups this weekend and some preseason fantasy studs should be rounding into form this week...that means you Andre Johnson. Look for Jarhead to do well, but not that well this weekend behind the strength of Willie Beamon "Hoo-Rah!". Now I'm gonna go play underground poker with Phil Hellmuth and Ahmer Vahedi.
Agent GV-A sigh of relief was heard from the fantasy world and from myself as I read that Anquan Boldin will return in a few weeks. I am glad to hear that the Bachelor is back in The City, and no I'm not talking about Alex Michel. I hope Jarhead does well as my brother is a former Jarhead, but because of my kids, the queue is lead by Chicken Little and Wallace and Gromit.

Same Time, Next Year

2005-10-31T21:27:00.000-08:00

It's Halloween and you're getting pushed around beyond repair. Like Daniel-san you have no hope at the end of the night and your team is basically in disarray. Well, Daniel got it together in a month, but you probably want to start looking ahead to next season if you are still in the winless column. For thsoe of you in keeper leagues you always have something to play for, so since you will have more flexibility in your roster towards the end of the year, keep an eye out on these injured guys who may slip under some radars. We do not advocate bad sportsmanship so please continue to play out games if they are meaningful to other owners, but if you are in a truly meaningless game, why bother keeping defenses or kickers when you can load up on skill players that may be worth more in offseason deals.

Daunte Culpepper-I'd say you'd need to really have good skill players to make a claim on him for a keeper league, he's no guarantee to play by midseason next year or to be the same guy. Brian Griese's days may be done as a starter, stay away.

Deuce McCallister-He's still young so he has recovery time on his side, well worth a look if you can fit him in. Ahman Green is not really worth the keeper at this point, if you dont have a healthy RB better than him than you should probably retire from fantasy football.

Javon Walker-Since he went down early he has more time to rehab, the most viable candidate on this list for pickup. Darrell Jackson-highly unlikely he was dropped in your league cause he may still play this year, but if he was, then pounce on him.

Kellen Winslow-Remember him? He hasn't played in a couple of years but if you can keep a TE, he is a weapon when he is healhty.

NBA Fantasy Mock Draft Analysis

2005-10-30T22:20:00.000-08:00

We like to keep ourselves sane here at Scandalous Sports and participating in fantasy basketball helps us forget about torn meniscus injuries to our key players every week. Here are the draft results of one of my leagues and some analysis to help you with those last minute tips. Please do not draft Teen Wolf or this guy.

Round 1
K. Garnett
L. James
S. Marion
D. Wade
D. Nowitzki
K. Bryant
A. Iverson
T. Duncan
T. McGrady
A. Kirilenko
S. Nash
G. Arenas

All of these are high ceiling guys so I dont mind Wade at 4 or Arenas at 12. Nash at 11 is a bit high this year and Duncan is always solid and even better at the #8 pick.

Round 2
J. Kidd
P. Pierce
B. Davis
P. Stojakovic
S. Marbury
J. O'Neal
Y. Ming
M. Bibby
B. Miller
V. Carter
E. Brand
R. Allen

Injury question marks come up in the 2nd 12 all over the board....these guys can fill up a stat sheet if healthy but only Yao has managed to stay injury free in this bunch...look for O'Neal to have a nice bounce back year.

Round 3
S. Francis
S. O'Neal
M. Ginobili
R. Artest
L. Hughes
B. Wallace
C. Maggette
R. Lewis
R. Jefferson
P. Gasol
C. Bosh
B. Gordon

Shaq in the 3rd round? well his minutes will be down and he kills your ft pct, but he is still a center and a steal if you can get him this late...artest is great but you probably dont want his headache....Ben Gordon is a slight surprise here, if he can improve his defense and assists he's deserving.

Round 4
A. Bogut
S. Abdur-Rahim
J. Richardson
D. Howard
Z. Ilgauskas
C. Anthony
C. Billups
J. Johnson
M. Redd
K. Korver
K. Hinrich
W. Szczerbiak

J. Rich and D. Howard are solid picks here...Bogut is a question mark especially with Magloire's arrival... Melo should have a nice bounce back year but don't expect him to be LeBron. Shooting specialists like Korver and Redd are nice, but make sure you have balanced lineups before picking them up.

Round 5
A. Iguodala
R. Wallace
J. Howard
A. Jamison
J. Terry
T. Prince
E. Okafor
C. Boozer
A. Miller
M. Peterson
Z. Randolph
R. Hamilton

Check your league eligiblity rules...if Sheed is a center than you have struck gold in round 5. Zack Randolph is 20/10 if he's healthy...snatch him up in round 5.

Round 6
J. Przybilla
J. Crawford
M. Okur
D. Stoudamire
L. Odom
J. Smith
Ku. Thomas
S. Cassell
C. Paul
M. Camby
T. Murphy
J. Tinsley

Lamar Odom should have a nice bounce back year but the triangle doesnt allow you to put up monster fantasy stats...Kurt Thomas should get plenty of boards in Phoenix and Chris Paul has plenty of room to operate in Oklahoma City. Troy Murphy is a good pickup here with his ability to hit the 3 and crash the boards.

Round 7
C. Mobley
M. Jaric
T. Parker
T. Chandler
M. Daniels
B. Simmons
D. Marshall
E. Curry
S. Jackson
C. Butler
G. Hill
C. Villanueva

Jaric can be a two-way fantasy stud if he can stay healthy..not a bad backup swing guard. caron Butler and S. Jackson should give you nice production out of a backup small forward here.

Round 8
C. Webber
J. Rose
R. LaFrentz
K. Martin
R. Alston
A. Stoudemire
J. Magloire
P. Brown
B. Wells
J. Childress
M. Dunleavy
D. Gooden

CWebb is still 18/8 at worst and thats pretty good for a backup PF. Childress is a great sleeper in his 2nd year. Snatch Amare if you can here, he's young so he should heal quicker.

Round 9
S. Dalembert
D. Mason
M. Williams
D. Williams
E. Jones
L. Ridnour
J. Dixon
A. Daniels
I. Diogu
J. Nelson
N. Hilario
R. McCants

Desmond Mason will be the lone scoring option in NOK so look for a boost in his stats...Good back up points available here, if you don't start snatching up one of these guys or the rookie class by now, you may be in trouble.

Round 10
V. Radmanovic
S. Swift
L. Wright
E. Dampier
N. Krstic
E. Griffin
A. Harrington
S. Battier
A. Jefferson
J. James
A. Walker
C. Kaman

Krstic is a great 2nd center on a balanced team that should get better in NJ. Walker is a surprise this late, he wont get anywhere near last years numbers but he will still find a way to make a difference.

Round 11
M. Miller
Q. Richardson
G. Wallace
L. Deng
M. Jackson
J. Howard
B. Haywood
R. Davis
R. Felton
D. Jones
S. Telfair
R. Evans

More shooters available here...I like Felton to have a good season as well as Q to do not as bad as some predict in NYC.

Round 12
C. Mihm
J. Williams
D. Christie
E. Boykins
J. Smith
C. Duhon
Z. Pachulia
D. Miles
T. Outlaw
U. Haslem
K. Brown
J. Jackson

The bottom of the barrel is now officially being scraped....Miles is a good bet this late...Kwame is Kwame but if he's eligible at C, he is worth a gamble.

Street Fighter Salsa

2005-10-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

Patrick Swayze vs. Chris Farley in a Chippendale's tryout...that is a mismatch. I thought this was the best in dance performances until I came across this Korean salsa competition where the duo gets inspiration from Street Fighter 2 characters. Now that's some creativity proving once again to be no match for their competition. As for this weekend, look to exploit these mismatches...

Detroit Defense vs. Kyle Orton-the Lions are tough at home, with another game with Garcia and a rookie qb facing them is a great recipe for success. Look for a defensive score and a ton of defensive points this weekend.

Jerome Bettis vs. Baltimore Ravens-I like Willie Parker too but you know the Bus will ride freely into the endzone against the "U"-less defense of Baltimore. Look for multiple redzone looks for Bettis.

Carson Palmer vs. Green Bay defense-they got worked over last weekend and will come out with something to prove against a depleted GB team. With most of their skill on IR it will be a long day for Favre as Cincy runs up the score.

LaDainian vs. the Chiefs-He won't get shut down 2 weeks in a row....look for them to feed Tomlinson 30 times as he rolls to 200 yards from scrimmage and a couple of scores at home.

Be Wary..of the Tampa Bay vs. San Francisco game...if the Cadillac is running as it was in the first month, then TB wins easily but the batttle of Simms and Dorsey bodes well for defensive dominance especially in San Francisco.

Week 8 Picks

2005-10-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-Catherine Zeta-Jones will shine as I retake a commanding lead in the Box Office Take...this weekend look for comeback performances from the big guns, and Houston with its first win coinciding with there being no baseball over the weekend.
Agent GV-SS favorite Zeta-Jones will have a better opening weekend that Nicolas Cage. And now that I have an ulcer after watching my boys, the Houston Astros, get knocked around in the World Series, I can now enjoy a weekend of golf, football, and trick or treating. FD and I will be hitting the greens and I will come away with my own grand slam in Games Picked, Best Play, Box office, and golf. Have a safe and happy Halloween.

Mum's the Word

2005-10-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

How many of you have lost a game or two because some coach went "Belichick" on you? You pick up guys from waivers because you heard that a starter is injured and hasn't practiced all week. Or you may have left a starter active when he didn't practice all week. Well, thanks to Bill Belichick and his philosophy of not revealing any sort of injury updates to the media, you have to base our decisions on facts like: is the team in a must win situation? how serious was the injury when it took place? is the upcoming game on grass or turf? is the opponent a good or struggling team? And does your fantasy roster have enough depth where you can avoid taking chance your starter will be non-active? These are the questions you would need to ask yourself if you are on the fence on starting a player listed on the injury report.
These past few weeks have been riddled with injuries and allowed for your typical waiver wire floater the opportunity to be a productive player. If you want to eliminate stress caused by a gametime decision, here are some players you might find available that can help your team: Charles Rogers (WR - Detroit Lions), Tony Fisher (RB - Green Bay Packers), Travis Henry (RB - Tennessee Titans), Marion Barber (RB - Dallas Cowboys), and (gulp) Az-Zahir Hakim (WR - New Orleans Saints).
Don't judge any coaches and believe it's wrong to withhold information or not tell the entire truth. You can also apply Billicheck-type of answers to your own life. For example:
-Girlfriend: "Where are you going out tonight?" Billicheck answer: "Out"
-Girlfriend: "Who are you talking to on the phone?" Billicheck answer: "To the other person on the line."
-Girlfriend: "Why do I smell perfume on you?" Billicheck answer: "Is that cheese dip in the fridge still good?"
-Boss: "Are those TPS reports done? They were due yesterday." Billicheck answer: "Sure."
You can see that Billicheck-type responses are very vague. You never lead on the person asking the questions. Many of you may already operate with this system and just didn't know how to classify it. This system works best when returning from any event involving alcohol, especially a fraternity party, bachelor party or returning from a trip to Las Vegas.

The "U"

2005-10-24T00:52:00.000-07:00

Well let's just say that I played a guy that had LaMont Jordan in a must win situation this week so this wasn't a great day. Luckily I can look forward to having Vinny Testaverde bring me from fantasy oblivion. He will need to bring me a Podsednik-like performance, whose home run by the way was eerily reminiscent of a home run I hit off of Agent GV a few years ago.

But back to Vinny, never mind the fact that I've been relying on this guy for the better part of 3 fantasy decades now. If nothing else, we can watch how stupid he's gonna sound on Monday Night Football when he says "Vinny Testaverde, the "U"! Thank god I won't have to hear "Mike Nugent, THE Ohio State University"

I look for big things from Warrick Dunn tonight without TJ Duckett and a healthy Michael Vick in the mix. I expect the Jets to keep it close with some balance so look for a solid night from Curtis Martin and LaVeraneus Coles as well.

Beverly Hills...that's where I want to be!

2005-10-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I like better than a good Beverly Hills, 90210 marathon...especially the classic high school episodes or David Silver singing his original songs. Of course our minds always turn here at Scandalous Sports and as the season goes on we know that decisions need to be made on certain players. Here is some advice on those tough calls.

Brandon...Jacobs or Jones?
Brandon Jones is a hot play right now because of Drew Bennett's injury. What he makes out of the next two weeks will go a long way to determining his overall value. Jacobs has tempted us all season with his possibilities but he still sits behind Tiki on the depth chart. Advice here is go with the position you need the most help because neither one stands head and shoulders above the other right now. ..but if you have to pick one...I'd go with Jacobs long term, Jones short term.

Steve...Jackson or Smith?
Again a need call, Bulger's injury may lessen Jackson's value if defenses start to stack the line. Smith has been golden all year and isn't slowing down. Do not hesitate to have Smith as a keeper despite being older than Jackson. Steve Smith is my choice here all things equal until the Rams show me some offense.

The guy from the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie...Corey Dillon or Chris Perry?
A bit of a reach here but can you name two other guys I could have used? Don't give up on Corey Dillon despite what you see, he is just too consistent to stay down. Despite Perry's promise you can't go with him over Dillon until you see an injury and some consistency.

Week 7 Picks

2005-10-20T00:24:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-This weekend, look for a 2-0 lead for the Sox, Mike Tice's last game as head coach, and you will all smell what the Rock is cooking unless Dakota Fanning or Charlize Theron can step it up.
Agent GV - Right now, I'm in a state of euphoria as my Houston Astros have finally made it to the big dance. Congrats to Biggio and Bagwell as your hard work finally pays dividends. Now I'll put on my #23 Bulls Jersey and wager my house on the Astros.

Keeping the Faith

2005-10-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

After your fantasy draft, you thought your team was stacked and ready to roll through your league. You were feeling like the Billy Joel of the late 70's and early 80's, feeling like everything was great and had everyone buzzing about you. You were as happy and pumped up as this guy standing next to Billy. Now, six weeks later, some of you are feeling like the Billy Joel of recent and your team has driven you to drink and set you down a one way street crashing into the bottom of your league standings. Well, keep the faith my friend. Don't go into operation shutdown yet. If you are in a playoff format league, you may still have a chance to position yourself to compete for that last place spot. Here are some players you should target by trade, possibly packaging some player FD mentioned in his most recent article. These are players who haven't performed to their expected levels:

Ahman Green - With Favre opening the field, he should put up some good RB2 numbers.
Matt Hasselbeck - Great starter on tough run defense match ups.
Tony Gonzalez - Has possibly dipped to the lowest value possible.
Trent Green - See Gonzo. Once Roaf and running game picks up, Green's numbers should improve.
Tiki Barber - Not catching many passes this year, but can still run well between the 20's.
Michael Clayton - With veteran Griese out for the years, look for youth to stick together and watch Simms look for Clayton more often.
Corey Dillon - I think Dillon is being conserved for the second half of the season. As soon as temperatures cool, look for him to heat up.

So don't pack it in yet. Stay confident and get started by putting out those trade offers.

Prison Break

2005-10-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

I spent a good portion of my weekend downtime catching up on my missed TV shows. This consisted of the 1st 8 episodes of Lost Season 1. Since I know I'm a season behind I'll reserve comment for a couple of weeks while I get fully up to speed. I did, however manage to get through the first 6 episodes of Prison Break. Living single does seem to allow such oddities as this much tv consumption but I can always sleep later. This show is great cause it takes all the great things we love about prison movies and extends it into a new show every week. It's a bit unrealistic but if you're into the prison themed stuff it'll keep you glued. And besides you'll see nothing as unrealistic as Ed Norton dunking a basketball or benching about 350 lbs. like he did in American History X. Most of the actors are non-descript but good bit players especially Scofield and Burrows who look more like a comedy duo than a couple of inmates. Abruzzi is cool but I still can't get over the fact that he saved Ben Affleck's life in Armageddon..a bad move only topped by Josh Hartnett jumping in front of a bullet in Pearl Harbor. The main gals Donovan and Tancredi are nothing of note, but Sucre's girlfriend Maricruz is one I'll be dong some research on.

Oh yeah, and I watched a little football this weekend too...here is a list of guys who have been holding you prisoner all year and its about time to seriously consider cutting them or looking the other direction if you haven't done so already.

QB-Daunte Culpepper, Kerry Collins
RB-Larry Johnson, Jamal Lewis, Corey Dillon
WR-Joe Horn, Andre Johnson (of course), Muhsin Muhammad

Look for consistent low cost options for now. This is probably your last chance to sell high since playoff berths are already at stake in many leagues.

Unlikely Victories

2005-10-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

In a week filled with unlikely victories...Tom Cruise impregnating Katie Holmes, Daniel Craig becoming the new James Bond (and having scored with Sienna Miller), and the Fog overcoming the starpower of Elizabethtown and Domino, I submit the lineup from my 16 team league that I won with...lineups like these go to show you sometimes you need a little luck to to be 5-1.

QB-Trent Dilfer, Eli Manning
RB-Michael Bennett, Antowain Smith
WR-DJ Hackett, Bethel Johnson, Samie Parker, Jabar Gaffney
TE-Chris Cooley

For the record, TO, and Brandon Lloyd were the only guys I had on bye this week, so keep abreast of the waiver wire and you too can win your deep leagues.

Week 6 Picks

2005-10-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-That's what I'm talking about. The picks seem to be getting better as the season is going on this weekend. Look for close games this weekend and fantasy breakouts from the league's studs. Although we focused on the surefire chick flick Elizabethtown...don't forget about Domino starring FD favorite Keira Knightley which includes cameos by Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green.
Agent GV- Okay Kip. I have carefully scouted my picks this week and expect a much better performance. I am also expecting a huge performance from SS Lil Sis Catherine Zeta-Jones on Saturday Night Live this weekend.
And I'd like to thank the producers of Lost for writing in the scene of Evangeline Lilly showering and in a bath towel on screen for five minutes.

Boat Trip

2005-10-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

Unless you're an Asian teenager or a Fox Reality TV show star, you probably want to stay away from things called "The Love Boat" or "The Love Cruise". If you are the Minnesota Vikings and you want to have a scandalous boat party, you most likely didn't heed this advice and decided to have a good time anyway. Well we hear it was crazier than Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz in Boat Trip, and we hope pictures surface at some point. I remember our house boat in college and don't think we ran into issues of this magnitude. But until we hear more, stay focused on your team and throw these guys overboard this week.

Joey Harrington (Lions)-his wideouts are dropping like flies and he faces an aggressive playmaking defense in the Panthers this week.

Brian Griese (Bucs)-Despite their record, this guy hasnt gotten on track this year and faces a tough game in an opponent who could also be called a home team in the Dolphins.

Julius Jones (Cowboys)-Mysterious injury and talk of more playing time for backups in a dangerous combination.

Vinny Testaverde (Jets)-He comes back to reality this week on the road against the Bills

Stephen Jackson (Rams)-tough game on the road in Indy on Monday night. Look for the Colts to score early and often leaving the Rams to pass all day.

The Fall Guy

2005-10-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

Week 5 of the NFL took a heavy toll on many fantasy teams. I don't think even Lee Majors could have sustained some of the hits fantasy owners took this week. On Tuesday, many were reading team sites, sports pages, and your favorite fantasy sports website for injury updates and status. Some news bode well for some and not for others. If you were like me, you saw your first round pick Deuce McAllister go down. I wasn't too concerned as he said in a post game conference that it wasn't serious and at worst, would be questionable for Week 6. Well, thanks to medical technology, the MRI revealed a torn ACL. Of course, now, he and the Saints are seeking a second opinion with Dr. Andrews, but everyone knows, especially baseball fantasy players, that a visit to Dr. Andrews doesn't ever result in positive news. I should have listened to myself and not draft guys who just satisfied their financial hunger with a large contract.
Anyhow, enough of Deuce. Be like The Fall Guy and get up for the another bout in Week 6. Here are some other players that you may find useful if you have several players with a "P", "D", "Q", "O", or "IR" in red next to their name.
Antowain Smith - has proved he's a serviceable running back, but don't expect huge numbers. A decent RB3.
Cedric Benson - May have his time in the limelight against a soft run defense. He has yet to impress coaches and a few looks at Adrain Peterson may be in the mix. Don't know yet how long Thomas Jones will be out with strained ligaments.
Corey Bradford - Andre Johnson (again in another article) suffered a strained calf muscle and I believe this will make the WR Bradford and Gaffney a much better duo as Carr won't be relying on Johnson to break free. Expect some garbage points here with Bradford.
Tyson Thompson - This is a one week, maybe two week bandaid for your team. Julius Jones has a high ankle sprain and this type of injury is tough to play with. He's a tough guy and he'll play if he can, but after watching Tyson run last week, Parcells may want to rest his money player.
Nick Goings - We all know what he did last year. Deshaun is banged up for this week and Stephen Davis hasn't practiced yet. If Davis doesn't practice by Friday you may want to claim Goings and keep him as Foster and Davis aren't know for staying healthy.
Alvin Pearlman - Fred Taylor had a great game last week and no surprise, took a hit that he had to sit out for a few carries. Pearlman stepped in and showed his stuff. Could be a great handcuff player if Taylor goes down with another injury.
Good Luck in Week 6!

Out Of Nowhere Awards

2005-10-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Was it just me or does it seem like it was a bad week for injuries? It's the time of year when these things just start happening out of nowhere. Kind of like Agent GV dropping a Farewell My Concubine reference on me last week. Here are a few awards from Sunday which are award-winning in their "out of nowhere" effect on my teams.

The Thanks for telling me award goes to Braylon Edwards....who not only managed to avoid the injury report all week, but was apparently in such bad shape that he didn't even have a chance to get on the field. This made me feel great considering I had him as my go to guy with so many others on byes this week.

The We hardly knew you award goes to Najeh Davenport....the only good thing is that he gave you everything in your wildest dreams before he got hurt. In many ways this is as unsurprising as surprising given his history...this guy is the old Fred Taylor/concurrent Correll Buckhalter.

The Thanks for nothing award goes to Corey Dillon...who finally put up a great game but then watched and cheered while Patrick Pass punched one in and Vinatieri kicked a field goal when it couldve been him helping my team.

The You need to be in every post award goes to Andre Johnson...who narrowly beat out Michael Vick for this award for his 1st quarter injury which provided the 0.00 in the point column which he was practically attaining weekly when he was healthy.

The Ashlee Simpson award goes to Alex Smith for turning in a weekend performance that you knew was gonna be bad, but had no idea it was gonna be that bad.

The Cedric award goes to Michael Clayton...who gave a great effort, but no thanks for your zero points. Next time tell me you're going to a fake wave instead.

Week 5 Picks

2005-10-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-White Sox in 4, Yankees in 4, and if 15 is the over/under, I'll take the over in number of times Pacino goes Pacino in Two For The Money.

Agent GV-Watching Roger Clemens last night was painful. Still, I believe the Astros will finish the Braves in 4. And expect a great performance on SNL hosted by Jon Heder and musical guest Ashlee Simpson.

Don't Hate the Game, Hate the Player

2005-10-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've switched channels away from some football games plenty this year. Some because of blowouts and others because of no interest. But mainly because I couldn't stand watching a player on one of my fantasy teams continue to underachieve and cost me victories. It's amazing how I can turn off the most loved sport in the world because my WR3 keeps dropping passes (thank you Samie Parker). I'm sure I am not alone here. But here are a few players you can point your fingers and blame for you turning to a Ron Popeil paid advertisement.

Larry Johnson: How many times are you going to fumble the ball away? You are proving many doubters right and hurting everyone who drafted you above Stephen Davis and Marshall Faulk.
Kevan Barlow: Ugh! I still believe it's not you, but the O-line and the QB situation. But it's tormenting to see you gain struggle to reach the line of scrimmage on every carry.
Daunte Culpepper: Again on a bad list. Now you are revealing knee damage. You are kidding, right? Sit out a week, get some treatment, and watch some more film. You are killing my teams.
Andre Johnson: Paging Andre Johnson, please report to the top 10 WRs I predicted you to finish in. Okay, so you are being blanked by 5 defensive players, not your fault. How about using that speed on a crossing pattern over the middle? Let Carr take three steps and dump it to you. Sheez.
Reggie Wayne: Okay, so you snuck one in last week. I waited to take a premier receiver because of you. Now I am fielding a WR corp of Bryant, Curtis, and Ferguson. Tough defenses spelled trouble early on, but you better pick it up through the rest of the year.
New England Defense: Currently sitting in the bottom four in team defense. Oakland is playing better defense. Get it together Pats. I don't know how much longer I can take watching slot receivers running wild.

Jessica Simpson: Nick you knew what you were getting into when you sang "I Do". She's younger, she's highly desirable by other dudes, and her manager/promoter is her father. You didn't stop to think for one second that this could spell trouble. You should have saw this coming when your boy, Bobby Huggins was dropped from the Cincinnati Basketball program.

Mailbag: I Know We're Cool

2005-10-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tony, IL: I'm 0-4, should I cut bait on all my players and try to start over?

FD: While 0-4 is not good, its not the end of the world. What you do have working against you is a shorter season since most leagues start their playoffs around week 14. If you have been competitive, meaning if you have average scores that are around the average of the league, you should hang with it and make minor tweaks.. These things can even out and injuries are always right around the corner. Don't break up your nucleus if you have a good enough team that could be beating others in your league.

Bill, CA: I'm 4-0, how can I maintain my competitive edge?

FD: Well just like Tony, you have a long way to go. Same advice though in that you should look to see how you are faring on average against the rest of your teams not just the team you are playing each week. If you can make minor tweaks and buy low on certain guys you can't enhance your team. Don't get overconfident though, I was 6-1 last year when Priest Holmes went down and I lost 7 straight after that.

Andre, FL: Which breakout performers are the ones to go out and get so far?

FD: If you can still get them, L.J. Smith, Eli Manning, Steve Smith and Carson Palmer jump to mind, although you can't go wrong with the guy who screwed a lot of us this weekend, Mr. Neil Rackers.

Kelly, NY: Give me something to listen to...

FD: Well my Ipod says these are my top 10 played songs over the last month. Apologies for such an offensive collection of musical taste.

Mr. Brightside-The Killers
Gold Digger-Kanye West
Cool-Gwen Stefani
Speed of Sound-Coldplay
Pretty Vegas-INXS
Look What You've Done-Jet
Behind These Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson
Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day
Somewhere Only We Know-Keane
She Will Be Loved-Maroon 5

Of course on the more comical scale...try Bronson Arroyo's version of the Freshman or Jeff Conine's version of Plush. By the way, that is Bronson Arroyo and not infamous blues singer Dawson Leery.

Running the Option

2005-10-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

Of course Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis have now ended their upcoming engagement. It sure didn't take Paris long, but couldn't she have done better than Stephen from MTV's Laguna Beach? Just remember to bring your own sweatshirt Paris. Here are a few better options going into today's games.

Pass on the New Orleans wideouts and focus on Arizona's...with Joe Horn and the 49ers hurting this is a no brainer. Look for big numbers out of McCown today in place of Warner.

Look for a rebound from Peyton Manning and crew...a matchup against the Titans is just what they need as they will not want to answer their critics for 3 straight weeks, a much safer option than the pass happy Rams this week at the Giants.

Look for Rudi Johnson to get big yards...against a defense which will be on the field a longtime under their new offensive coordinator...but stray a bit from Julius Jones who is getting a lighter workload and has to go up against the Raiders at Oakland.

Worst Kept Secrets

2005-09-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Garner let the cat out of the bag which wasn't surprising given that Ben Affleck was either at the Red Sox game or trying to bluff Sammy Farha and Chris Moneymaker at the time. So a baby girl it is to Bennifer 2, congratulations and hopefully Ben remembered to ask her "Who's Your Favorite New Kid?...please don't go girl." Here's to this season's worst kept secrets in the NFL.

Shaun Alexander scores TDs-Every year this guy gets passed up as the #1 guy but he gets the yards and puts up the points every year consistently and in big bunches.

Jake Plummer is erratic-for every 2 tds you get about 4 TOs. Of course you get about 300 yards too...if you can live with it, you may come out ahead on a week you need him, but you'll be sweating it consistently.

Torry Holt is good-Doesn't matter who the QB is or if they are inside or outside...this guy puts up the most consistent numbers of any WR whether he is getting double covered or not and he isn't a candidate for a meltdown like the other top WRs.

Kevan Barlow can't get pass the line of scrimmage-maybe its a bit of a reach but you get the point...this guy has been averaging 2 yards a carry for the better part of 2 calendar years now and he doesn't score a bunch so know that he is a 3rd option at best these days.

Week 4 Picks

2005-09-29T00:48:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-I've never picked against Roy Jones ever, but this weekend I am going with Antonio Tarver in the 5th round by TKO...please don't fall asleep during this fight if you can help it. Once he does go down, I can catch an early viewing of Jessica Alba and her 2 piece in Into The Blue. I expect a big rebound in best play this week as well.

Agent GV-Agree with FD's Tarver Pick. Roy just looks old and sluggish now. With such a lead in Best Play, now I can focus more on my picks. I see an upset happening in Tennessee. And c'mon Alba, don't let me down on my box office prediction.

The Simple Life

2005-09-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Some things in life are unexplainable. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore getting married, Flightplan making $24 Million in its first weekend and what the heck Nicole Richie is doing with Captain Hook in this picture. Nevertheless, we can get by with the unexplainable in fantasy football. Here are a few of the unexplainable things from week 3 and the trends we forecast.

Bengals Defense-2 weeks in a row with 5 INTs? What we know about defenses is that this sort of thing is not a fluke when it comes to forcing turnovers. While 5 INTs is a bit over the top, it does say that they are really going after the ball and should be a great play week in and week out.

Carnell Williams-Leading rusher in the NFL? Hey, why not...he was hyped in the preseason and he is coming through. They play cream puffs in their own division so for the 86,547th time...ride that Cadillac.

Peyton Manning-no TDs for 2 straight weeks?...I said in the preseason he'd hit 40 no problem and I'm not ready to abandon that prediction yet. This guy can still roll off 5 in a game at will but he hasn't had to...stick with him and buy low if you can.

LaDainian Tomlinson-triple threat?....the throw is a bonus but this guy is the #1 guy and the Chargers finally figured it out this week...don't look back to the first two weeks, he will get his touches and he will go off.

Fantasy Hodgepodge

2005-09-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Not all of us are great dancers in our spare time like Mark Madsen. Since we do follow sports other than just football, to keep our sanity I wanted to take some time to answer some questions during this relatively active fantasy time of year. And to top it off I decided to name the article after one of my all-time favorite sandwiches to enjoy while watching sports?

Who should I take with my first pick in my NBA fantasy draft?
My top 3 consists of Tim Duncan, LeBron James, and Kevin Garnett in no particular order. For the position that they bring and the balance there are not three better. Balance is key to any basketball league so don't fret if you don't get a top tier guy, you can still get Shawn Marion, Kobe, Amare and DWade just to name a few.

The Chase for the Cup is On...which guy will have the most road rage?
Well, after that shot put last weekend it'll be tough to beat. My money is on Tony Stewart to win the chase and he is guiding me to a solid first nextel fantasy racing season. With no Gordon or Little E to knock him off, he can only beat himself.

Fantasy baseball...only one week left, what's my play?
you have to go for broke, find out what you need and go for it, especially if its not a keeper...be proactive and make sure you have guys that will play. find guys who are on teams that are playing for something otherwise youll have a lot of DNPs this coming week.

Who is this Sidney Crosby dude?
The first online fantasy league i ever joined was a fantasy hockey league cause i was still doing football by newspaper, calculator and pencil. 2 years off and some things don't change. The 2 Martys should be the first 2 goalies to go....your leading point scorer will come from Jaroome Iginla, Martin St. Louis, and Markus Naslund. I'll go with Iginla as the best of the three.

What's up?

2005-09-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Every Monday morning after viewing my fantasy team's performance....

And so I wake in the morning

And I step outside

And I take a deep breath and I get real high

And I scream at the top of my lungs

What's going on?

It's been two weeks already and I have managed to keep most of my teams afloat at the .500 mark. This is pretty good considering some of the players I drafted. I am sure many feel the same way as most of these guys were drafted within the first three minutes of your draft. Realistically, I know it's too early to make any drastic moves, but is there any guarantee that these underachievers will produce at their expected levels? It can be as annoying as a 4 Non Blondes song to continue to put up with this lack of production. It's probably more irritating if you are sitting with an 0-2 record. Here are my 4 Non Blondes of my fantasy teams:

Daunte Culpepper - You are on pace to throw more INTs this year than in your two previous years combined! You don't need Randy... it helps, but you don't need him. Go through your progressions, dump the pass off to Mewelde or Jermaine Wiggins. Run the ball more. You can't force passes. Utilize the short game to brush off any rust you may have on your arm. You are costing me a chance for a three-peat championship run. So Dante, I ask you, "What's going on?"

Deuce McAllister - Another player who could benefit from a coaching change. I took you in the first round and you are giving me 6th round stats. You always had a question mark on durability and whether you can carry a team. However, I bought into the hype that you were going to get 25+ carries a game. It also helped that you WERE going to play on turf, but the forces of nature had something else in mind. Dagger over here predicts a big game for you. If you can't get it together, you may find yourself being traded away. So Deuce, I ask you, "What's going on?"

Kevin Jones - Boy, I should have drafted Olandis Gary instead of you. I can't believe I traded Marvin Harrison for you. All I kept hearing is "oh, that Kevin Jones is going to break out this year." " Watch for Kevin Jones, he's going to be a scoring machine." All you have done is given me just over 50yds/game and ZERO scores! You better storm into Coach Mariucci's office and demand that there be better run-pass play ratio. And tell him not to abandon the run, regardless of the situation. This way, Joey increase his ratings (just like the NBC show that needs help too). I ask you Kevin, "What's going on?"

Ravens Defense - Many fantasy owners gambled and took this defense relatively high. I did in round six. I could have taken a QB like Kerry Collins or Carson Palmer here, but I figured I could get a premier defense and a QB later. Well, they aren't forcing turnovers and they are tiring out as they are on the field all day after the offense goes 4 and out. Where are the INTs and the jewel of all fantasy defense, the Sack-Fumble-FumbleRecovery-Touchdown Combo. So, to the Raven D, I ask, "What's going on?"

Week 3 Picks

2005-09-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-Look for a big week from the Deuce this week...almost as big as Jodie Foster.

Agent GV- Gates will return to form and find the endzone this week and J.J will double that.
And since Dagger has been on a Jerry Maguire kick this week, I would like to congratulate Jerry O'Connell for his new found love and engagement with Rebecca Romijin. How do you like that Uncle Jesse!

My Ambassador of Quan

2005-09-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

I said yesterday that I wouldn't mention Renee Zellweger and here I am the next day bringing up Jerry Maguire. Not without good reason though. I never needed a touchdown so much than I needed tonight from Joe Horn in the 4th quarter. I was expecting a Monday night performance reminiscent of Rod Tidwell's great catch at the end of his Monday night game. Although I was not looking for a headspin...a simple 6 would do and he certainly was headed that way. There he is diving for the pylon and a sure victory for me when he fumbles the ball at the 1 pushing it to the pylon causing a touchback for the Giants. Thank you Joe...you are my ambassador of quan...team record now 0-2.

You Had Me At Hello

2005-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

Since fraud is in the air, I decided to vent a little about those guys who we all swept us off our feet in the offseason and we now want an annulment in Week 2. This is the first of many lists like this to come, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone...this should also be the last time we allude to Renee Zellweger or Kenny Chesney.

Kevin Jones-Did I miss something here when everybody was taking this guy in the first round? Granted that I see a lot of running backs who are underachieving here but I expect this guy to go off...its not like he spent 4 months in the slammer.

Reggie Wayne-This is a contract year and just because the Hurricanes aren't doing great doesn't mean you have to play like crap too. When you do decide to pick it up, tell your buddy Andre Johnson about it as well.

David Akers-Not only was your non-draft status of the nfl backyard football league apparently justified, but you are also missing field goals and pulling your hamstring on top of it. Everybody needs a kicker but not you at the moment.

Broncos or Vikings RBs-take your pick here but you, like I probably blew multiple picks on the combination of these 6 clowns. I'm not gonna touch the QB situation in Minnesota as I'm sure my counterpart has a few items to share, but this is ridiculous.

Michael Vick-ok he's not doing that bad, but this just goes to show you he can make just about any list you come up with...he underwhelms with his stats once you realize all that running around doesnt count for anything except potential injuries.

I haven't seen performances this bad since I listened to the MLB Rock album featuring Omar Vizquel.

"Let's Hug It Out" Award - Week 1

2005-09-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

Week 1's "Let's Hug It Out" Award goes to Jeremiah Trotter and Kevin Mathis. These two engaged in a pregame scuffle and both were ejected prior to kick off. However, I'm not sure who initiated the brawl, but if you believe in karma, then maybe the finger should be pointed towards Kevin Mathis. Mathis is out for the season after injurying his left knee, practically shredding any ligaments in that region. So, come on guys... Let's hug it out.

Week 2 Picks

2005-09-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

Flying Dagger-A rough week topped off by ongoing box office slump of Samuel L. Jackson. I will look to the star of Cruel Intentions to lift me to victory this week. Randy Moss is my pick to go double big this week.

Agent GV - An ACL injury cost me one point on best play and Jeremiah Trotter cost me a sweep in picks. This week I plan to pad my lead with Cooley leading the way.

30 Minute Meals

2005-09-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

If I had $40 a day I'd love to spend it on a Sunday with SS favorite Rachael Ray. Unfortunately I neither have $40 or Rachael's digits, so I'm stuck watching football. The food network is great for those long afternoons when nothing else is on, but during football season its all business. For those of you itching for a bit of both, here are Week 2's running backs explained via our favorite chefs....

Kevan Barlow (Bobby Flay)...I'm so tired of this guy grilling everything and then throwing blue corn salsa on it and claiming he is the king of Southwester cuisine. Similary Barlow tries the same thing every week but always leaves you wanting more. Week 2 will be a tough matchup against the Eagles, stay with the guacamole.

Brian Westbrook (Mario Batali)...Is it just me or does this guy try to make spaghetti and meatballs seems like the hardest dish to make in the world. Likewise Westbrook gets the hype every week but most guys would do the exact same thing given the offense around him. Week 2 is no different, monitor your expectations with a solid SF linebacking corps.

Stephen Jackson (Emeril Lagasse)...Lots of hype, lots of essence but mass quantities of food you'll never get to. Jackson has all the tools in the world but come gametime, he'll leave you high and dry with relatively ordinary numbers...look for this to continue against this week against the Cards and watch Marshall get more touches.

Rudi Johnson (Jamie Oliver)...No nonsense, yet quick and simple with amazing dishes...Rudi is not the biggest or fastest guy but he puts up great numbers every week, look for him to go off this week against the Vikings with the backing of a solid passing game.

Priest Holmes (Rachael Ray)...sure 30 minute meals come out of the can and don't seem to include washing your vegetables, but our crown jewel is the gold standard and thus I anoint my gold standard rb of the week as . Look for his strong week 1 to carry over into a monster week 2 against the Raiders especially since LJ may be a question mark this week.

Scandalous Player of the Game

2005-09-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

OAK vs. NE: Tom Brady - If this was Mortal Kombat, we would have heard that famous phrase, "Flawless Victory". No Sacks, No Interceptions... this is what Brady brings to the table. Look for more smart play next week against the Panthers, but don't expect the same big numbers.
CHI vs. WASH: Clinton Portis - Again, Portis has a good season opener. Rushed for over 100 yds against a stingy run D. Was this the hype we all heard during the offseason? He didn't find the endzone on Sunday, but expect him to have similiar yards and find the endzone in Big D next week.
TB vs. MINN: Tampa Bay Defense - A group effort hear. They made Culpepper look like he did in 2002 when he almost had 40 turnovers by himself. The Vikings made Gruden look like a genius and Cadillac would have been average if it weren't for that last 71 yard score. The Bucs Defense will face a more versatile team next week against the Bills. Key for them will we to confuse Losman as they confused C-Pepper.
MIA vs. DEN: Miami Defense - Another fabulous perfomance by the defense. It seemed like Saban was hitting that "X" button for turbo speed on every defensive stand. The Dolphins were quick to the QB and to the ball. They made Mike Shanahan's team look very bad and possibly put Shanahan on the hot seat. Look for the Dolphins D to do more of the same against the low octate Jets.
New Orleans vs. CAR: John Carney - It seemed like the Saints were destined to win this game due to the tragic events in their home state. But to have that pressure on you from 47 yards away was to be almost nerve wrecking. Carney was 3-3 in field goals with two of them over 40 yards away. This made for a great story. Watch him continue his spirit lifting kicks next week against the G-men.
JAX vs. SEA: Jimmy Smith - Old Man Jimmy here hauled in 7 catches for 130 yds with two scores. He ran wild through the Seahawks secondary. Was it inexpereince on the Seahawks part or was it Smith regaining his old form. I give credit to the develpment of Leftwich and Smith. Look for the Jags to use the passing game more often, especially if they will be playing catch up with the Colts next week. Smith should have another 100 yd with a score.
PIT vs. TEN: Willie Parker - Fast Willie was the man. Averaging 7.3 yds per carry on 22 rushes. Hey Jerome, who needs to bowl over people when you can simply run around them? This guy is legit. Cower's offense gives him the opportunities and great blocking receivers help downfield. Expect another 100 yds and two scores next week against Houston.
CIN vs. CLE: Carson Palmer - Palmer needed to show the world what he could do and he did. He completed over 75% of his passes and played a sound game. Look for another good game against the Vikings defense in Week 2.
NY vs. KC: Dare I say Johnson? Yes... Derrick Johnson. The Longhorn Alum had sack and forced fumble to go with his eight tackles. He could easily make the Chiefs defense a top ten defense. Look for him to have a great game against Collins and Lamont Jordan in their next game.
SD vs. DAL: Drew Bledsoe? Parcells made Testaverde a decent QB for one year. Bledsoe is better than Vinny. Can reason state that Bledsoe should have a good season? Very possible, especially if he cuts down on his INTs like he did against the Bolts. Don't expect a mistake free game against the Redskins. Bledsoe should come back down to earth next week with two tds.
STL vs. SF: Julian Peterson is back! He didn't seemed bothered by his injury at all. 2.5 sacks and 5 tackles was huge for the struggling 49ers. Hopefully some of his play rubs off on some of the younger players so that the 49er defense continues to give the offense opportunities to score. They should really look into Arnaz Battle as their QB. This guy looked amazing too.
ARI vs. NYG: Giants Special Teams - A fantasy owner's dream to have drafted in the last round the Giants and to see that they returned two kicks for touchdowns. Those that were lucky to start them were rewarded nicely. Don't expect this for the rest of the year. Chad Morton still has some gas left in the tank, but play the match ups well with this team.
DET vs. GB: Joey Harrington - This game didn't have any real fantasy highlights, but Harrington did manage to not throw the ball to the other team. If he continues doing this, he can be a decent #2 on your fantasy team. But expect him to look like the Joey of yesteryear against the Bears next week. Whoa!
IND vs. BAL: Just so Peyton doesn't get praised again... Gary Brackett. 8 tackles and 2 INTs. Cato June gets some love, but these two are really playing into Coach Dungy's game. If these guys can hold it together for the rest of the year, the Colts have a great chance to make take that next step in the playoffs. However, this was against Kyle Boller. Look for their defense to get tested next week by the Jaguars.
BUF vs. HOU: Willis McGahee - Took a hit on the knee and still bounced back to rush over 100 yds. He could move the chains if Losman can avoid the turnovers. Look for McGahee to find the endzone next week with about 80yds on the ground.

Mailbag: DVR to the Rescue

2005-09-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

Adrian, NY: Which pregame show should I watch to give me the best info up till my lineups need to be set?

FD: While Fox and CBS have fine coverage, the pregame shows are defined by the interviews that they spend a week hyping up. Flip over to ESPN for the best fantasy coverage...this is a 2hr show and they have numerous cut ins to let you know about game time decisions. On top of that, keep a computer and the refresh button close by.

Jack, DC: How much stock do I put into great or lousy performances in week 1?

FD: Swinging deals involving marquee players after week 1 is a bit on t he risky side...keep in mind that most of these guys will still be out of shape given they get little to no preseason action. track your borderline roster guys the most in the early weeks...if you can find gems like receivers with 10 catches or rbs getting goal line carries, dont be afraid to drop a borderline guy.

Adam, TN: Every year I get hyped up for my draft and then afterwards it seems like I hit a lull as if drafting is better than playing the season...any tips on how to keep it interesting?

FD: As Herm Edwards said..."you play to win the game". You should never be satisfied in fantasy football because unlike other fantasy sports, one player can make or break your team. Always look to improve your team because you are almost certainly guaranteed to suffer a catastrophic injury to at least one of your players. pay attention to how coaches use players, and how consistent the teams you have players on are. winning teams usually produce yearlong fantasy studs so watch the teams out of the gate.

Matthew, AZ: Fantasy football seems to be running my life these days, any good picks for tv other than football?

FD: My current DVR has the following shows queued up for weekly recording...Pardon the Interruption, Laguna Beach, Lost, Prison Break, Survivor, The O.C., Surreal Life, Battle of the Network Reality Stars, Reunion, Rock Star: INXS....any one of these will provide you hours of entertainment if you haven't checked them out already....sports is normally the only live thing i watch thanks to the miracle of fast forward. Don't fret, there are plenty of good shows starting this fall and you will be able to take a hiatus during those non-football hours on sunday to take in a bit of regular viewing.

Week 1 Picks

2005-09-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

Finish Those TPS Reports

2005-09-06T23:32:00.000-07:00

We all have a little Peter Gibbons in us, and we all know a Bill Lumbergh looms over us at some point as well. Sometimes you may feel like asking out the cute waitress at the local restaurant or gutting a fish at your desk, but more often than not your conscience sets in. While you may want to get hypnotized and not care about work, you would probably prefer that it not happen to your fantasy team. With that said, watch out for these coaches who are on a short leash and may have a propensity to do strange things at work this year.

Mike Martz (Rams)-this guy may make eveyr coaches list I do for something. How many more years does he get? Whether it be forgetting the game situation or using up all TOs in the first 2 minutes, this guy's time may be up so get ready for a lot of fake field goals and 1st and goal passes.

Tom Coughlin (Giants)-old school is not where it is anymore, on top of that, he tends to rub guys the wrong way. He needs to finish no worse than 2nd in his weak division to keep his job.

Mike Tice (Vikings)-He got renewed but without the Randy Ratio who knows what his gameplan will be. He's still got the talent but he will need to play it more conservative if he doesnt want to be selling super bowl tickets as a more permanent job.

Mike Shanahan (Broncos)-these guys haven't won jack since Elway left and there seems to be a mirage about how good this team is every year. he will toy with his rbs all year so watch out for the wacky and potentially pulling the plug on the snake.

Jeff Fisher (Titans)-a bit of a surprise of sorts but he's been around forever and sometimes a team needs a different voice, if they start out slow look out, but I'd look for different Titans this year because of Norm Chow. Throw out what you knew of the Titans but watch their record close.

The Price Is Wrong

2005-09-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

One of the great things about fantasy people is that you can draft in any number of ways. While most of us focus on standard drafts, we do not want to neglect tips on other formats...specifically those that are money based. When configuring your team strategy make sure that the price is right.

Auction drafts
-Be aggressive with putting players up for auction...if you bid on someone and are first in, you have a better chance of getting a good player for cheap while other bidders wait for the big dogs. Wait too late and you run a greater risk of overpaying for lesser players.
-Know your opponents...if you know a guy will not go without a certain player, raise the price as much as you can
-Watch your budget...be smart with your money and make sure you can assemble a competent team, if possible place player in $ range buckets prior to the draft so you know how you can build a balanced roster.

Salary cap drafts
-Don't balance at every position...you wouldn't draft 15 6th rounders and expect to win a league...so make sure you get productive guys and know your bargains elsewhere...this doesnt mean overpaying, just skewing your budget to who can benefit your team.
-Don't worry about the order...if you start at qbs and end up at kickers, dont worry about skipping around or going bak and changing your initial roster. you may have your eye on certain guys or have a budget in mind, but keep in mind you still need to field a competitive team...everyone can own the same guy so dont limit yourself.
-Be liberal during the season...everyone wants to set their cap at $2 cents below the budget and watch the values soar but realistically you need to make moves during the season...dont worry about cutting high value guys cause A. you have byes, and B. productive cheap guys are always available if you are opportunistic.

Desperate Housewives

2005-09-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Desperate Housewives was a huge success last year. Critically acclaimed and high ratings among the tv viewers. Each character is well defined and plays a key role in the show. And each character is a limb off the show's basis of "things aren't always what the seem." For most men, securing a date with any of these women would seem like a dream come true, but if you study closely, you will find yourself pulling that emergency brake really quickly. Below are my "Desperate NFL Players". If you look closely, there is drama everywhere.

Teri Hatcher (Susan Mayer) - NFL version, Jerry Rice: A sexy pick, back in the 90's. Remember that picture with Teri and the American Flag... what an image that was. One of the most downloaded pics ever on the internet; Rice, one of the top receivers drafted each year in the 90's. Like Teri, Jerry continues to look for that right team (for Susan, a man). Don't get me wrong about the two, both have aged very well, they just don't have the luster they had 10 years ago.

Felicity Huffman (Lynette Scavo) - NFL version, Trent Dilfer: Lynette is a strong and dedicated wife and loves her family, of course with the usual headaches. Trent is a very admirable teammate. Loves to have fun and looks over his team as if each were part of his family. Like Lynette, Trent may not be the sexiest of the bunch, but he definitely is above average as a quarterback and a great asset to a team.

Brenda Strong (Mary Alice Young) - NFL version, Donovan McNabb: Like Mary Alice, Donovan represents that strong, vocal leader to his team. Mary Alice knows all of her friends dark secrets, but never reveals them as a good friend would. Donovan does the same. He knows what's happening with his teammates on and off the field. But you never hear Donovan dish the dirt out to to media. He always has a cliche ready for statement or construes the matter into something positive.

Eva Longoria (Gabrielle Solis) - NFL version, ?: A couple of years ago, this could have easily been Corey Dillon. He was unhappy with his team (marriage for Gabrielle) and always complaining. Corey has found a good home, so who is today's Gabrielle? I would go with Jeremy Shockey. He's young, he's camera friendly, and popular for no real reason. There fame stems from the stage they each play one, not from their own doings. Both Eva and Jeremy are surrounded with a great cast. And they are everywhere... award shows, tabloids, and always find a way into my Maxim magazines. What's the deal here? Both are overhyped and are slightly above average at best. Like Gabrielle, Jeremy only tries when he has to. Both give up easily and always need some motivation to play their best.

Nichollette Sheridan (Edie Britt) - NFL version, Terrell Owens: Wow, little did I realize how much these two were alike. Was the ABC Monday Night Football commercial of yesteryear a great casting of two characters or what? Both of these two divas must have shared some great conversations. Like Edie, Terrell is his own person and that is all that matters. He's out for himself. He'll make an appearance with the team, but only if it will get him what he wants in the end... totally Edie.

Marcia Cross (Bree Van De Camp) - NFL version, Peyton Manning: Like Bree, Peyton is dedicated to his work and spends countless hours in the film room studying opponents. Very nit-picky and precise at what he does. Always doing things his way with those audibles. Always wants things executed perfectly.

Mailbag: She Will Be Loved

2005-08-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

Don, NM: At what point do I consider drafting high powered backups over "need" players to fill starting spots.

FD: The one rule I like to follow is that for rounds 1-5, I have to be able to start each player every week. That is if I can never have more than 2 RBs starting at any time, I will not draft 3 RBs in the first 5 rounds. Since you can't rely on trades, this to me is a sound strategy since the dropoff of not having a guy you could start vs. the 3rd guy would be a significant disadvantage against other teams who did fill the need with a better guy. If you're busy predicting an injury for a guy you are drafting you probably shouldn't be drafting him to begin with.

Patrick, DC: Do I take a chance on Warrick or Peerless?

FD: There will be many more cuts over the next few days. Both these guys are young and have shown flashes in the NFL. With few exceptions guys getting onto new teams as WR are slow to pick up in the first months. Also, if these guys were so good they probably wouldnt have been cut given their apparent upside. Take them with your last pick but not before then.

Jerry, CA: Should I be worried about the Saints players and that they may have to play outside on grass this year?

FD: While the fantasy ramifications seem inconsequential given what is going on, the simple answer to your question is that although Deuce does average nearly a yard per carry less on grass, given that Deuce is first round talent, this should not be a concern. Aaron Brooks is more of a consistent play outdoors and on grass.

Scott, MD: Is Andy Roddick currently considered a winner or loser?

FD: 1st round US Open loss=BAD, Dating Maria Sharapova=GOOD, Maria Sharapova also dating Maroon 5 frontman=BAD, Poor Man's Steve Stifler=GOOD, Kicked Mandy Moore to the curb=VERY BAD...you do the math.

Kirk Herbstreit, NCAA Football Master

2005-08-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

I am not much of an Ohio State fan, but the Buckeyes finally produced some talent with Kirk Herbstreit. This guy is amazing at breaking down college matchups. He also has a way with the ladies (see right). He always seems to make his picks based on reason and logic while those other clowns get over excited, throwing their hands up and making their picks according to what the fans in the background want to hear or whomever is heavily favored.
September is just around the corner and that means that pizza, beer sales, big screen tv's, and strains in marriages will spike due to college football on Saturday's and NFL on Sunday's. And if you are lucky, you get to watch the smaller conference games midweek. And to follow my NFL predictions, here is my NCAA College Football top 10, as predicted to finish:

1. USC
2. Ohio State
3. Tennessee
4. LSU
5. Texas
6. Miami (FL)
7. Michigan
8. Iowa
9. Oklahoma
10. Virginia Tech

Championship Game: USC vs. Ohio St - Buckeyes Win (This one's for you Herbstreit!)

And here are my Week 1 picks for NCAA Football (winner in BOLD):

Miami (FL) @ Florida St.

Tulane @ Southern Miss

Notre Dame @ Pittsburg

Bowling Green @ Wisconsin

Texas A & M @ Clemson

Waiting to Draft and channel surfing

2005-08-29T00:37:00.000-07:00

What do you do when youre trying to do an email draft and everybody seems to set their queue except for one guy? Of course the point of an email draft is so that you don't have to be sitting and waiting by the computer, but isn't it annoying when its the same guy every round? Well, you probably don't piss him off cause A its a weekend, and B, there are some people that simply would just do it intentionally to screw you for the rest of the draft.

In my case, I ignored and tried to do some channel surfing...on this night it was back and forth between National Lampoon's Vacation and the MTV VMAs. Of course on a level playing field, Vacation would win most of the time due to Chevy Chase's sandwich dance, but the VMAs won on this night, but just a few things that are eating at me...

1. why don't they figure out that they should split the show into hip-hop and non hip-hop? Is it not blatently obvious how uncomfortable these two groups are when they are forced to be in the same room and laugh at bad jokes that aim to be funny but fall flat?

2. Bad pairings
most overrated-Ricky Martin and Joss Stone (this guy is living off of 1998 fame and I still cant figure out what this girl has done besides Gap ads)
worst attempt and making light of a bad situation-Jeremy Piven and Lil Kim, boy...everyone sure thought it was funny about how he made fun of the fact that she was going to the big house.
unnecessary young couple-Hilary Duff and Joel Madden...always trying to act and joke like adults are these pairings but I've never seen it come off

3. who's doing the counting?-did it not seem odd that everyone you thought would win didn't actually win? I have fallen off the TRL bandwagon over the last year but mortal locks apparently aren't that anymore...perhaps they can assign John Norris and Suchin Pak to counting duty so we aren't subjected to them at next year's White Carpet.

...I will say that I'm glad that I saw no muffin tops from performers or presenters which kept me watching till the end.

Adding Insult to Injury

2005-08-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

You ever notice how some injuries are better left unspoken? Well in football it seems that the unspoken ones are always the ones that cause you the most problems. Well no one may go through as much as our friend on the left did over a three hour period, but some injuries can cause you a season of hurt if you don't know what you are looking for...here are some of the ones you should be on the lookout for...

Turf Toe-basically this is when you bruise the ball of your foot right below your big toe..imagine not being able to put weight on the ball of your foot and you will see how this can be an issue...much worse on turf so beware of guys who play on these surfaces.

Hip pointer-this is normally a bone bruise to the hip and occurs normally as the result of a hit, most guys can play through this but they are normally the ones who have high pain tolerance...if your rb cant play through this, its a bad sign.

MCL sprain-now since there are so many types of MCL sprains I wont pretend like I'm a doctor...but it is a knee injury and there are different levels, the ability to cut will be most affected so pay attention to the grade. If its grade 1 your guy may only miss a week or 2, grade 2 or 3 and start looking for other options

Stinger-when you get a kink in your neck from watching too much tv on the couch or when you get a funny bone sensation running throughout your neck and the rest of your body...as this is a full contact sport, it really depends on how a player can play through not only pain but going down the middle to expose himself...this injury wont keep guys out long, but watch them close for the couple of weeks after the injury.

Plan B

2005-08-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

So Ben Affleck had a pretty good back up plan for when Bennifer would end...Just like Ben you can prepare yourself by doing the appropriate scouting and looking at these backup QBs who are sure to make an impact this season.

Billy Volek (Titans)-a near no brainer given what he has done the last couple of years..he has good rapport with the receivers and mcnair's flapjacket is permanently fixated at this point.

Kelly Holcomb (Bills)-this guy has always had the knack to put up big games, Losman gets his shot but he hasn't proven to be durable...look for a few good games from Holcomb this year.

Luke McCown (Bucs)-this guy has flown under the radar but sits behind 2 fragile QBs in Griese and Simms...look for a few games with this mccown under center.

Philip Rivers (Chargers)-if the Chargers dont come out of the gates firing, its Rivers job and he should be in a great position given the running game to at least be a good fantasy #2.

...and a special shout out to AskMen.com who posted their top 99 list and whose top 10 included one of the SS favorites.

RIP..Color Me Badd

Free Your Minds

2005-08-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

If you have a few spare dollars and nearby a dirt mall, then you should stop by and see your local Miss Ivannah for predictions for this upcoming football season. But if you are short on change or would not want to be caught seen at a dirt mall, then you came to the right place for your football prognostications.
Here are my predictions for division and wild cards for 2005:

AFC:
East- New England Patriots: Who else in East can compete with this talent?
North- Pittsburgh Steelers: I love Cincinnati this year, but Pittsburgh still has Cowher to manager their defense.
South- Indianapolis Colts: Dungy always assembles a great team, but never a Super Bowl contender.
West- Kansas City Chiefs: O-line and Vermeil are getting older. This is the year to make run.
Wild Cards: San Diego Chargers and Houston Texans

NFC:
East- Washington Redskins: No believers out there. I like Gibbs this year to finally catch up to the new millennium of football.
North- Minnesota Vikings: No more headaches with Moss. Gotta give Mike Tice more Super Bowl tickets to scalp.
South- Carolina Panthers: Always tough. Great balance on offense and defense.
West- Seattle Seahawks: Weak division. Look for a mirror image of what's happening this year in baseball's NL West.
Wild Cards: Atlanta and Philadelphia

Super Bowl: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Carolina Panthers

Quick Hits: Check That!

2005-08-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

Cedric Benson-he will sign and will still make an impact but probably not for the first month of the season...add in qb woes and id knock him down a few notches.

Antonio Gates-except for week 1, I would expect similar numbers to last year...he's out to prove himself.

Eli Manning-sore elbow shouldnt keep him down too long, and with Tim "my wife was on Survivor", the Bachelor and J.Lo on the depth chart, you can feel safe with Eli.

Andre Davis-the patriots spread it around so dont expect a fantasy breakout but look for him to play a similar role to David Patten.

...and don't call me Chris

Welcome To Hollywood

2005-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Every year we have a few guys who come out of nowhere to make a splash during the season...these may or may not be rookies but often times its these diamonds in the rough that make the difference in a fantasy season. Remember these names towards the end of your deeper leagues or on waivers in the first few weeks of the season.

Eric Shelton(Panthers)-this guy seems to be getting a lot of buzz for a 3rd string rookie but remember the finely conditioned atheletes ahead of him on the depth chart-Foster and Davis.

Antonio Chatman(Packers)-Favre loves throwing to this guy and he showed some flashes last year...gb always seems to have a guy come out of nowhere on the receiving end.

Verron Haynes(Steelers)-with Staley already banged up and the Bus slowing down, this guy had some size and zip in case they need him in a pinch.

Arnaz Battle(49ers)-having a 49er WR on this list may be a bit of a joke but Battle showed his merit on special teams last year and has good speed and skill to make something out of their receiving group.

Kyle Orton(Bears)-Hutchinson won't last past the first month and no one wants to see Blake in there...Orton has looked good in the preseason and should be starting by October.

Choose Your Own Adventure

2005-08-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

Jesse Palmer didn't choose wisely but that doesn't mean you will make bad decisions. Draft time is great for water cooler debates and going safe or taking a chance. Here are some of the hot pick ems and where I fall....

Terrell Owens
-He's falling fast and we are all just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He has no trade value in real life but sure does on the fantasy circuit. Let him be someone else's problem.

Denver Running Back
-Something is fishy if the great Tatum Bell still hasn't won the outright job even with last year's season ending performance. Mike Anderson is like 50 years old right? I still look for a great year from Bell, but dont be so quick to jump on the bandwagon.

Rookie Wideouts
-Braylon Edwards held out, Mike Williams hasnt played for a year and Matt Jones is learning a new position, expect rookie like production as usual. Focus on 2nd and 3rd year guys instead.

Comeback QBs
-The good-Kurt Warner, Drew Bledsoe
-The bad-Gus Frerotte, Trent Dilfer, Patrick Ramsey

All Overrated Teams

2005-08-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

TEAM 1

QB: Michael Vick - Great player to watch, there are plenty other QBs that can outperform him fantasywise.
RB: Tiki Barber - Learned how to hold on to the rock last year and was called on to help rookie QB. Expectations should be lowered.
WR: Drew Bennett - Back up QBs always scared to throw into double coverage to #1 WR and love WR2 and WR3. Bennett benefited from McNair's injury. Bennett is also injury prone.
TE: Randy McMichael - With no real talent, TE plays are always a safety valve. Dolphins targeted him quite often but look for that to change this year.
K: Josh Brown - On a great offensive team, but never really finishes with the top kickers.
DEF: Atlanta - Played above everyone's expectations. Should be average this year.

TEAM 2

QB: Matt Hasselbeck - Great fantasy back up, but can't carry your team to the championships.
RB: Domanick Davis - A bit small and yet to prove durable for an entire season. Don't expect this to happen this year as the Texans have some good RB depth.
WR: Brandon Stokley - So many targets to cover on the Colts, someone was bound to break free every so often. Results in Stokley being covered by a linebacker and breaking free. Would be average on any other team.
TE: Bubba Franks - A TD machine with no real value between the 20s. Hold out doesn't help either.
K: Nate Kaeding - The Kid seems okay, but may be ranked a bit higher than other kickers.
DEF: Seattle Seahawks - Unless the corners start shutting down some passing, this team is average.

FEMALE CELEBRITIES:

Roselyn Sanchez - Great for looks, but acting needs some heavy polishing.
Jessica Simpson - Face needs a little help. Proactive wasn't enough.
Eva Mendes - See Roselyn Sanchez.
Paris Hilton - Should star in Super Size Me II so she can pack a little weight on.
Brittany Murphy - I'm not into the trailer park look, and she fits the mold.
*These are not the only ones that I feel are overrated, but these are the ones I thought of when I considered this topic.

Mailbag: I Love the 80's

2005-08-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Stephen, SF: Should I trade Torry Holt and Domanick Davis for LT and Deion Branch?

FD: Arguably you'd be trading 2 2nd rounders for the best player and a 7th rounder. LT may be good for 20 tds and there is a lot of concern surrounding DD, but I would not do this deal because of the consistency of Holt over the questions around the Patriots spread offense...DD can get close enough to LT numbers to tip this towards not doing the deal.

Leslie, NY: Should I trade Vick for any one of these guys...Boldin, Horn, Holt?

FD: I'd deal Vick certainly for Holt, most likely for Horn and maybe for Boldin, the key is your other QB. No brainer if you have someone who can be consistent at QB.

Tony, NC: How should I tackle the middle rounds of my draft?

FD: assuming you have your main slots filled, try to get best available at your rb and wr positions, you can find k, te and def later on, but a gem or two lie in these middle rounds that normally make the difference when you need to make lineup changes week to week.

Jenn, LA: What are your top rated alternative rock songs of the 80's

FD: Well I won't speak for Agent GV, but here is my top 10 in no particular order

The Promise-When in Rome....subtle, uplifting, a great closer for Napoleon Dynamite.
If You Leave-OMD...evokes great memories of junior high dances.
Tainted Love-Soft Cell...the standard for synth pop, gets the girls all the time.
Bizarre Love Triangle-New Order...questionable lyrics, but always gets me hoppin.
Forever Young-Alphaville...played out at all graduation functions but a timeless classic nonetheless.
Obsession-Animotion...great use of guy/girl conflict within the song
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out-The Smiths...best song from one of my 80's faves
Take On Me-Aha...only because the video still stands the test of time
Lips Like Sugar-Echo & The Bunnymen...untouched in its greatness yet underrated in my opinion.
Just Like Heaven-The Cure...short and sweet, great jam any time its on

Madden 06 Review

2005-08-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

By now, you've already spent countless hours with your version of Madden 06. We at SS have also put our due diligence in and offer some insights and comments on this year's game. Just a few things i've noticed in case you're still looking on picking it up.

The passing cone...this is what's getting the most buzz. Basically it doesn't allow accurate passing unless the qb is looking at his target. This takes away our all time favorite weapon of running to one sideline and throwing across our body to a target that isn't on the screen. As realistic as the new feature is, I think we all still like the little advantages that we can have in our unrealistic world...you can toggle this feature off so don't fret.

Superstar mode...I was completely absorbed by this feature that allows you to create a player and basically take him from the minute he graduates college all the way to the NFL. You get to pick your gene pool from your parents, sign an agent and take the Wonderlic IQ test. I got 90% the first time so apparently I'm not a complete idiot. The IQ test alone wouldve made it worth it, but voice mails from Terrell Davis made it even better. This takes "creating" a player to a new level and much more enticing than just changing a jersey name to have me on it.

Animations...a lot more animations this year and pass catching and tackling is looking more realistic. Specifically guys going up for balls and tackling around the waist are much better this year.

In game stats...I don't like to be inundated with stats all game but I like how a running log and passing log are now kept so that you can see accruacy/yardage gains in the 1-10, 11-20, 21-30, etc.. increments like they do on tv. They have paid a lot more attention this year to what they do on the broadcasts to simulate the stats available in the game...thumbs up.

Most of the other features are the same...realistically if gameplay is all you are into, then you can probably get by with your 2005 version, but if youre gonna put the time in and take in all the features, you should have plenty to keep your time occupied with this version.

Death, Taxes, and John Cusack

2005-08-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

There are few things in life that are a sure thing. John Cusack proved this in the movie, but my study into Cusack shows he has not only shown great resilience as an actor since the 80's but has played opposite some of Scandalous Sports' favorite leading ladies. Not only those in our esteemed hall of fame, but other favorites like Bridget Moynahan and Diane Lane. It didn't work out in the movie, but in our world, he is the sure thing. Fantasy football does have its fair share of sure things as well...keep note of these sure things come draft day...

Peyton Manning will throw 40tds this year...if you saw him last year, you know he could've thrown for 60 easily and there's no reason to think he couldnt do it again this year. yes 40tds is not an easy NFL feat, but you know he'll have plenty of 4td and 5td games, can we expect him to be under 3 tds a game consistently?

Priest Holmes will get hurt...this is a mathematical certainty and the closest to a sure thing in football. Draft carefully and draft Larry Johnson if you can, but a strategy to draft both guys high will probably not yield you great overall results...let them be someone else's problem.

The best value TEs come later in the draft...while everyone is looking to steal TG or AG in the early rounds, know that you get great value without the sacrifice of an early pick.

Old QBs with capable backups do not last on mediocre teams....be ready to pull the plug on anybody in this category if their team goes into the tank....beware of teams with high profile rookie QBs or backup vets who have taken snaps. Drafting an old QB is good security for the firs few months but be ready to be without him by season's end.

Team defenses are not a commodity on draft day...there is always a rush to get the "elite" defensive teams on draft day sometimes to the point of ridiculously high picks being made...know the schedule, watch which defenses make plays and watch which offenses struggle...since most teams dont carry backup defenses you will always have a plethora of teams to choose from...choose wisely and you have a gem every week without sacrificing a draft pick that couldve been an impact position player.

Draft Tactics: Average Draft Position (ADP)

2005-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

You may have heard the term ADP tossed around on various fantasy sports websites or by fellow league members as they prepare for the draft. But what does this all mean? How can you apply ADP to your fantasy draft?
Average Draft Position (ADP) is obtained by gathering data from several drafts and calculating which round and selection is each player taken. For example: This year, LaDainian Tomlinson and Shaun Alexander seem to be the consensus #1 and #2 picks in each draft. If 10 drafts were to be held and LT2 and Alexander were each selected #1 and #2 each time, their ADP would calculate to 1.01 ( first round.first selection) for LT2 and 1.02 for Alexander (firstround.secondselection).
Using this info, you can determine when you should target certain players so you can get the best value at each selection. Keep in mind, just as on a blackjack table, a player who decides to take a player or card when logic states you shouldn't, could affect the entire draft.
Here is a recent sample of an Average Draft position report courtesy of AntSports.com. Only the first three rounds have been selected (12 teams) with a brief analysis after each round. And excuse the Soundgarden reference.

1. LaDainian Tomlinson
2. Shaun Alexander
3. Priest Holmes
4. Peyton Manning
5. Edgerrin James
6. Deuce McAllister
7. Willis McGahee
8. Domanick Davis
9. Randy Moss
10. Clinton Portis
11. Kevin Jones
12. Jamal Lewis

Looking California: If your league scores receptions, James, McAllister and McGahee are great picks for 5, 6, and 7. Each of these RB have great hands and should be involved on 3rd down plays. Kevin Jones at 11 is maybe two or three picks lower than I have him. Take advantage of him if he falls past 8th pick.

Feeling Minnesota: Manning and Moss. Every team needs a solid RB1 to anchor their team. Taking Manning at #4 seems too high, especially when the three rb mentioned above are still available. Moss, he may put up some big numbers early on, but how long will he stay happy when the Raider defense continues to blow leads. He's never been happy in a losing season. Take an RB at #9 as Moss may be available second round.

13. Corey Dillon
14. Julius Jones
15. Tiki Barber
16. Terrell Owens
17. Rudi Johnson
18. Ahman Green
19. Marvin Harrison
20. Daunte Culpepper
21. Torry Holt
22. Brian Westbrook
23. Chad Johnson
24. Tatum Bell

Looking California: Rudi Johnson at mid second round is a great pick. I believe he's a top 10 RB this year. I would definately target a RB2 early on in the second round. If you are drafting in the 1-5 slots, a top WR would be a solid pick here.

Feeling Minnesota: Tiki Barber, Ahman Green, Westbrook. Tiki will be losing carries to the ginormous Brandon Jacobs. Green is picked to have a down year, especially with a depleted front line. And Westbrook plays for the Eagles and is competing with Correll buckhalter for carries, if Buckhalter remains healthy. And Terrell Owens antics continues to take a hit on his value. Drop him several spots, if not outright. Let someone else deal with his headaches.

25. Steven Jackson
26. LaMont Jordan
27. Curtis Martin
28. Javon Walker
29. Joe Horn
30. Donovan McNabb
31. Andre Johnson
32. Reggie Wayne
33. J.J. Arrington
34. Hines Ward
35. Michael Bennett
36. Carnell Williams

Looking California: LaMont Jordan should be overused and get plenty of touches. If you took a top WR in second round, Jordan is a great choice in the third round. Don't expect him too fall any farther though. Andre Johnson is a great pick if you missed out on one of the top 5 WR. Reggie Wayne is also a great pick as he's in his contract year and plays on a great team.

Feeling Minnesota: If you are drafting for a keeper league, taking one of the rookie running backs like Arrington or Williams would have been a better choice over Curtis Martin, especially if you had already drafted a top 10 RB.

Quick Hits: Keanu Reeves

2005-08-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

Here are Agent GV's top 5 Keanu Reeves' films:

#5 - Speed (no thanks to Sandra Bullock)
#4 - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
#3 - The Devil's Advocate
#2 - Point Break
#1 - Matrix

Check them out if you haven't seen these. If you have, view them again and as Johnny Utah once said, "Vaya con dios, Brah."

What's with the life preserver?

2005-08-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

Drafts are commonplace for me at this time of year, but I just like everyone else do sit down and concentrate on one if not two as my "main" drafts. Preparedness for drafts is key as having every resource available to you is essential to maintaining sanity and being ready for your pick. Since you are not Marty McFly you do not have extra chances to get it right so here are some pointers for your draft day.

Have your queue lined up and ready...your computer will crash when you least want it to, the best thing to prepare is that you have a queue of guys ready so that you don't end up with Todd Pinkston as your first pick.

Prepare multiple windows for easier information gathering...I am a computer geek and I take this one level further by having IE and Firefox open in case an entire browser crashes. point being whether you have an online draft or offline draft, have as much info ready at your fingertips as possible. Anticipation will only get you so far as every draft will have some point where you need to make a snap decision, the least you can do is being as prepared as you can to do that.

Watch drafting behavior and understand other owners...if you know who likes who and what positions the other owners have filled you can put yourself at an advantage in terms of draft strategy, for example if every owner has a TE, you could very easily see that with 8 rounds to go, you don't have to rush to fill this spot, you can fill other needs and still draft the same guy later on without sacrifice.

Have snacks and use the restroom...drafts are long and between rustling through papers and waiting on the one guy to make his pick you will get antsy...hydrate, take a dump, do what you have to do to remain on top of your game.

Above all, have fun, talk trash and know that the draft is part of the overall equation but the season is never won on draft day.

Mailbag: Portis, Eagles, and Barlow

2005-08-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

Fred, ID: In a keeper league, I have to choose between Curtis Martin and Clinton Portis? Who should I keep?

GV: In a keeper league, I say Clinton Portis. He's younger and this year should have the system and talent on the front line to open up some gaps. Martin is good, but depending on where you will be drafting, you may have chance at him in the first round.

Mike, CA: I'm an Eagles fan and it seems that every news piece out of the Eagles training camp is negative. I have McNabb and Westbrook on my fantasy team. What should I expect from these two guys?

GV: The Eagles are a very interesting team. Since 2000, the Eagles have made playoff runs, only to fall short each year. If you have McNabb on your team, I would keep him. You can't cut him as he's too valuable. However, expect his passing stats to take a dip now that Correll Buckhalter is healthy and his WR are dealing with injuries and ego trips. Westbrook should also see his stats drop with Buckhalter back in the mix. If you can trade Westbrook, I say pack him and ship him out. Maybe a late 2nd or 3rd rounder if you can. And as far as the team goes, they should still be a playoff team. L.J. Smith should see his numbers increase and Andy Reid won't allow his Eagles to fall off track.

Charlie, LA: Should I hold on to Kevan Barlow or show him the door?

GV: Charlie, I share your frustration with Barlow. Last seen I bought into the Barlow hype and for what... maybe two decent games, which I didn't even start Barlow. He has the speed and talent, but even Barry Sanders would not have been able to be productive on that 49er squad of last year. And the Frank Gore hype is eating at many Barlow owners. However, don't pull the trigger and cut him loose just yet. Gore has a history of injuries and the 49ers should be better than last year (can they get any worse). Coach Mike Nolan should have a better defense this year and his receivers should be ready to break out. Keep Barlow and pat yourself on your back as you will find Barlow a serviceable 2nd or 2rd RB.

Jared, MN: Dan Marino or Steve Young, who's your choice to lead your team on the field?

GV: I have been a long time Miami Dolphin fan, so I am a bit partial to Dan Marino. His statistics speak louder than my team preference. Marino is a pure passer who could throw that deep ball anytime. His quick release makes him a great quarterback under the blitz pressure. And to accomplish all he did without a viable number one running back is amazing. Dan would be my choice.
And by that "last toss" he threw to Mark Clayton just shows that he still has a year or two left. Dolphins sure could use him this year.

Quick Hits: Super Bowl Shuffle

2005-08-08T01:04:00.000-07:00

Javon Walker(hamstring)-Javon was held out of practice on Sunday for what looks to be a minor hammy injury if there is such a thing....until they get an MRI it should lower your expectations

Duce Staley(knee)-so Duce is going in for an MRI so keep on the lookout for this one...the #1 end zone vulture lurks on the depth chard and Duce has never been known for durability

Freddie Jones(couch)-thanks for hanging it up as I have waited 10 years drafting you to become the next Brent Jones.

Rafael Palmeiro(perjury?)-after taking in a weekend comedy marathon, I do think he might be able to land the gig of Bernie in Weekend at Bernie's 3.

If you do win your fantasy league this year, try shooting a video and emulating these dance moves.

Real Men of Genius

2005-08-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

Well you can't get this man to pick for you on draft day, so you're going to have to be a genius in your own right to assemble a good team. Although every season comes down to a healthy team, you can outright lose from day one if you don't have a solid first few picks. Here are some tips for the first 5 rounds

Don't draft your "boys"...that is unless you play for the joy of owning the guys you root for. this is becoming increasingly difficult in fantasy sports as we all yearn for winning teams and rarely can't do both without sacrifice. If you have to make an insane pick make sure its within the realm of reason.

Don't take 3 of the same position in the first 5 picks. This is where the best available strategy won't work. Even if you are in a league that starts 3WRs you'd be better off getting a better backup RB than a 3rd WR at this pick with the value.

Don't worry about taking too many guys with the same bye week. too often you see people concerned with wanting to have a balance, this can kill you if you are missing one guy for 5 straight weeks, if you have to take a large hit in one week its better than being less than 100% for 5 straight weeks.

RBs are a premium, TE, K, and DEF are not....rbs run, catch and score so thats why they always go high, few teams win fantasy leagues without 2 backs they can count on...conversely although a good TE, K, or DEF is vital, you are much more likely to be able to pick them up later on without sacrificing a viable rb.

Mailbag: The dreaded muffin top

2005-08-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Jon, CA: Which QBs have been overhyped going into the year?

FD: Arm strength is always key, this isn't 1982 and we know time travel ain't gonna cut it. If you look beyond the newer guys, I'd be careful about Pennington, Griese, and the Rattay/Smith combination. I'm a bit leery about how Bledsoe and Plummer may hold up this year as well.

Terry, MA: Should I trade Tom Brady and Javon Walker for Peyton Manning?

FD: On average you'd be trading a 3rd round and 5th rounder for the #1 overall pick. So yes, I would but don't expect to get many takers on this deal. Dealing Brady is a risky proposition as there are very few who put up the consistent numbers he does and you'll be able to round out at your skill positions and still be able to nab him. Football is a fantasy sport where one player makes all the difference though and a playmaker like Manning can mean the difference between a winning and losing season.

Nathan, WA: How long should I hold onto an aging vet in a keeper league over an unproven potential stud?

FD: I'm inclined to hold onto QBs a bit longer than skill position players. If a RB is hot than you should most likely pounce on them because of shelf life unless you have someone with under 5 years in the league. QBs come along much slower and you can usually get by with a serviceable QB, not so much so with just a serviceable back.

Lance, GA: What young actresses do you see emerging over the next few years to make that next big star jump? Can we expect to see anyone moving onto your big boards?

FD: Assuming they can avoid the dreaded muffin top, I can see big things from a handful of actresses....Kate Bosworth, Rachel McAdams, Keira Knightley, Diane Kruger, and Mischa Barton just to name a few. A few of these ladies have made a big leap recently and I expect continued solid work. As far as the big board, only time will tell as we evaluate a body of work for selection.

End Zone Vultures

2005-08-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

How many times has this happened to you? You are sitting on your couch cursing at the programming director for FOX for televising a San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals game when there is a great match up between the Atlanta Falcons vs. Minnesota Vikings. In the middle of your WTF thoughts, the first ticker of the day scrolls at the bottom of the screen. Indianapolis 7 - Opponent 0. You, an Edgerrin James owner think to yourself, sweet, a quick touchdown. Moments later, Fox goes to a GameBreak and shows that there was a pass interference in the endzone to put the Colts on the 1 yard line. Now, you are so confident that James punched it in, only to realize that Dominic Rhodes' number was called to steal the td. Arggghhh!
What's this type of player called in fantasy sports.... touchdown vultures. It's a running back who specializes in short yardage situations, especially goal line plays where the defense will stack eight in the box. Normally, this player is a power runner, broad shoulders, who can carry the first defender past the goal line. Such a specialist is loved by coaches as their legs are always fresh and almost certainly gains that one yard desired.
Vultures love passing interferences in the endzone as it sets up that first and goal from the one yard line. They also love when the feature back breaks free for a long run, only to accidentally step out of bounds on the half yard line or the ball never going on the inside of the pylon on a dive. The feature back then steps away for one play to catch his breath only to see that the vulture powered in for a score on the very next play.
These "dirty birds" can be frustrating to the owner of the feature back, but valuable to you if you own one. If you choose to steer away from drafting that potential back up who's only chance of playing is through injury to the starter, a vulture may be a player for you. Especially if you are in a touchdown only league. Here are my top 10 vultures:

1. Jerome Bettis (PIT)- How many times has this guy scored more touchdowns than rushed yards in one game.
2. Dominic Rhodes (IND)- Colts love to use James between the 20's, resulting in some rest in the red zone. Alas, Rhodes a great source of touches near the goalline.
3. Correll Buckhalter (PHI)- Injured last year. Healthy this year. Brian Westbrook caught twice as many more TDs than he rushed. A lack of confidence on the Eagles coaching staff with Westbrook? Maybe, but expect to see the rock be handed to Buckhalter near the goalline.
4. Mike Anderson (DEN)- North-South runner with a combination of power and speed. Remember that it wasn't long ago when Anderson rushed for 14 tds for this team. 100% healthy, look for him to spell Tatum Bell.
5. Brandon Jacobs (NYG)- This 256 pounder will do everything that was expected of Ron Dayne and more. Tiki small size isn't ideal for goalline plays, so expect Jacobs to be in the backfield within five yards of the endzone.
6. T.J. Duckett (ATL)- Again, another bruiser for team who features a small scatback. Warrick Dunn needs room to run around the corners, but Duckett can do it between the tackles. Look for this Michigan State alum to steal 5-6 tds from Dunn in 2005.
7. Moe Williams (MIN)- Can Michael Bennett stay healthy all year? why risk him on the goalline plays when you have Moe Williams at your disposal. Because of durability and health, I see Tice spelling Bennett on the power plays and using Williams to break through the goal line defensive stands.
8. Marcel Shipp (ARZ)- It's a tall order to expect a rookie to enter the NFL and stay on the field all year without some rest. Dennis Green knows this. Enter Marcel Shipp. Shipp is a serviceable running back who will be called on to give rest to J.J. Arrington.
9. Mike Alstott (TB)- May be his last year playing. But this fullback is a veteran who knows what it takes to find the endzone. He's tough and puts all his muscle into every play. He, too, is playing behind a rookie, which will open some opportunities for Brad Pitt's lookalike to score.
10. Zack Crockett (OAK)- You look up vulture in the dictionary and there, you will find a photo of this #32 in the endzone flaunting with that so familiar omega celebration.

There you have it. Most of these vultures will reap anywhere from 4-7 touchdowns in a season and can very well give your fantasy team that extra oomph needed to separate from the pack.

The following takes place....

2005-08-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

Every top dawg needs a wingman. For those of you who love '24', you know that Jack gets nowhere without his main man Tony Almeida. Likewise, the top WRs get a lot of play but the 2nd wideouts on a team are often the ones that make or break fantasy teams. Look for big years from these #2 receivers.

TJ Houshmandzadeh(Bengals)-Chad is the mouth but this guy has carried his clipboard through college and into the pros with great consistency. tack on another year for palmer and you could see double digit scores.

Lee Evans(Bills)-big play ability and anotehr year off that bad injury he suffered in college. Has a big arm with Losman and can be the perfect endzone/deep threat combo this year behind Moulds.

Larry Fitzgerald(Cards)-you may toss him up with Anquan, but if not, look for another solid, steady and bigger year with a veteran Qb who can get him the ball.

Donte Stallworth(Saints)-I love this guy, he's kind of like the WR equivalent of Michael Vick but you always seem to want to go get him...this year should be different.

Mike Williams (Lions)-Him and Fitzgerald were close 2 years ago, I expect them to put up similar numbers again this year on sheer ability.

All I need is this paddleball game

2005-07-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

When you hit rock bottom things can get bad. Ask Navin Johnson, visionary inventor and rhythmic genius in his own right, but he ended up at the bottom of the scrap pile until someone wanted him. On draft day, you'll be looking for bargain pickups that nobody wanted with huge upside like Navin, but there are a number of routes you can go, just remember the following tips for those late rounds.

Drafting the backup for a stud...For every Priest Holmes there is a Larry Johnson and for every Kevan Barlow there is a Frank Gore. Therein lies the ups and downs with this strategy...This will give you 90% security depending on the team situation but also eats up a roster spot if the worst never happens. It can leave you with 2 spots eaten if neither guy produces. Committees aren't great so if you go this route, stick with the feature backs who have injury history.

Drafting to make sure you aren't left high and dry come bye week...The byes are great when you have somebody ready and able to step in without production loss, due to the knowledge and depth of most leagues, you are unlikely to have a guy draft day who fits that bill come the bye week you wanted to use him. Make sure you have spots that you can be flexible with...Its hard to find studs after your first wave and you don't want to eat a roster spot with a marginal player that may break out in week 10.

Drafting best available...a solid strategy cause most others will be taking risks. Normally itll be a guy on the downside of his career...Little upside here but a chance for greater production should you need them the first month of the season.

Drafting a rookie...normally the impact rookies are gone long before the final rounds, and the ones that are left aren't gonna make it happen fast enough...If you go this route be prepared to have a short leash.

Welcome to the OC b*tch!

2005-07-30T00:32:00.000-07:00

So you're the new kid in town and want to make a splash? Every year we salivate to find the prime rookies to fill out our squads and more times than not its unfulfilled promise. There are a few gems every year though, here are a few names to pick up a flier on when draft day comes (For arguments sake, I chose not to evaluate anyone in the top 10 picks here).

DeMarcus Ware(Cowboys-DE)...speed/power guy, dont expect freeney or kearse, but double digit sacks and a couple forced fumbles are in his future.

David Pollack(Bengals-LB)...all out all the time and relentless on the field. a position switch but he has the smarts and drive to make it work in this defensive scheme.

Matt Jones(Jaguars-WR)...no randle-el (yet) but also not eric crouch. looks for his role as a hybrid in the offense and he will be flying around the field with the ball.

JJ Arrington (Cards-RB)...the knock is he has questionable durability but we on the west coast know what he can do, and in the desert with the focus on the wideouts, he is looking at 1000 yards this season.

Lofa Tatupu (Seahawks-LB)...a bit of a reach but a monster playmaker from the national champions. think troy polamalu or adam archuleta playing inside linebacker...always around the ball.

Nanny 911

2005-07-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

Would you trust this man with your nanny? If you know the answer, then you will know the value of trust and to believe what people say. As training camp battles begin it is important to note which coaches you can and can't believe. Here is a sampling of guys you might not want to bet the farm on in terms of how they will use guys...

Mike Shanahan (Broncos)...the rb genius has played several tricks on us over the past few years and his crowded backfield is no different. Bell will be the man when its all said and done but no guarantee of reliable starts at this point.

Nick Saban(Dolphins)..a rookie head coach but coming from college he thinks he can rotate 3 qbs and 4 rbs in a single game, plus he already turned one guy into Dick Vermeil.

Mike Martz(Rams)...never mind the players, you never know when he may forget the score.

Joe Gibbs(Redskins)...look for continued confusion on the offensive side of the ball as he continues to catch up to the new millenium.

Romeo Crennel(Browns)...learned from the master of spreading it around and he probably wont play a single hand to let you know what he really wants to do.

Mailbag: Better Danica?

2005-07-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

Troy, SD: Who will have the better year Steve McNair or Chad Pennington

FD: why dont you just draft Chris Chandler? McNair is a tough guy but he never plays every game. Pennington is a big wuss and his arm may be blown out. Tennessee will go back to power run game and fades into the endzone with their team. The Jets have the better team, but not numbers oriented. bottom line stay away from both, but go with pennington since mcnair is assured to get dinged up beyond starting.

Andrew, NY: How do these running backs fall in order? Tatum Bell, Brian Westbrook, Fred Taylor.

FD: I'd go Westbrook, Bell, Taylor. Westbrook has a lot to prove since he had to go with the 1 year tender, not a breakout star but consistent. Bell has the best game but is a mystery in that backfield. Taylor can still be productive but too much of a risk from this latest injury.

Joe, TX: Chris Cooley..A. What is he, B. is he worth the hype?

FD: Well I have him as a TE on my big board but depending on the league he may be RB or both. Bottom line is Gibbs loves him and he should get more touches but dont confuse him for a big play TE and draft him early. The skins are conservative and Cooley is a great pickup once the other productive TEs are gone but not before.

Paul, CA: Better Danica?...Patrick or McKellar?

FD: DP is certainly holding her own right now, but a few months does not do justice to great Wonder Years we had with Winnie back in the day. Even today she still manages to hold her own. Certainly you cannot go wrong, but we stick with Winnie for the time being.

Rock Star: Quarterback

2005-07-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

While we anxiously await the new lead singer of INXS to be chosen, we must first determine who the viable candidates are for fantasy stud among the new quarterbacks this year. While we all hope for Big Ben 2, more times than not these guys can lead us to fantasy disaster. Here's a quick breakdown of the new kids on the block/new frontmen.

JP Losman (Bills)-2nd year but 1st as starter...he has weapons and a big gun, but may be slow out of the gate in a tough defensive division. McGahee should help ensure he doesnt make too many errors but production will be limited.

Patrick Ramsey (Redskins)-part 2 should end as part 1 did, Jason Campbell will be there by midseason in a sluggish offense.

Trent Dilfer (Browns)-Trent can win but was never a fantasy stud, take into account a rookie wideout and unsettled running game and you may have better options but worth a flier as a #2.

Kurt Warner (Cards)-could see big things in the desert for Kurt. If his young WRs can mature and he can stay off his back, the division is definitely shaky in the secondary.

Drew Bledsoe (Cowboys)-steady but unspectacular and with Julius Jones, wont need to carry the burden, strictly a #2 if drafted at this point.

Gus Frerotte (Dolphins)-make sure they pad down the stadium for his arrival.

Gary Hogeboom (Survivor)-gotta love it when reality TV mixes with fantasy football.

You are the 1st team to arrive

2005-07-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

There's a theory that if you have a pair of teammates that you magically score more points than if you had 2 guys on separate teams. This is of course illogical, as it is more of a psychological advantage since 7 catches and a td is 7 catches and a td in most leagues. That said, you can either fly high or sink low depending on the types of teammates you have. In looking at QB/WR combos, take a look at these tandems for your team as they are consistent and will give you a nice mix of yardage and scores throughout the season. Just remember, its an automatic 2 guys you have to replace on a bye week.

Manning/Harrison-the gold standard of consistency.
Brooks/Horn-big arm, sure hands....lots of yards and scores
Favre/Walker-they hate each other but favre always plays and walker catches everything
Bulger/Holt-bulger is great every time he straps it on, and they still play in the dome.
Collins/Moss-I'll give GV some love on this one, if you can stand Kerry's fumbles and INTs.

All Star Silver Screen Team

2005-07-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

I started watching Varsity Blues last night (for the 98th time, almost half as many as Chasing Amy) and thought to myself, "that Coach Kilmer is a really great coach or the talent at West Canaan High School is top notch". C'mon 23 division titles in his 35 years of coaching is phenomenal. This made me think, what if I were able to assemble a football team of the best players around, my own Pro Bowl team? Could they be the most dominant team ever assembled? I think so. Here's my team, but the twist... the pool of players are fictional players written for television or movies.

QB1: Jonathan "Mox" Moxon (James Vanderbeek), Varsity Blues
QB2: Willie "Steamin" Beamen (Jamie Foxx) , Any Given Sunday
RB1: Darnell Jefferson (Omar Epps), The Program
RB2: Wendell Brown (Eliel Swinton), Varsity Blues
RB3: Demetrius "DH" Harris ( Omar Gooding), Playmakers
WR1: Clifford Franklin (Orlando Jones), The Replacements
WR2: Rod "Show Me the Money" Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.), Jerry Maguire
WR3: Charlie "America's Funniest Shot to the Nuts" Tweeter (Scott Caan), Varsity Blues
K: Lucy Draper (Kathy Ireland), Necessary Roughness
K: Barney Gorman (Tony Danza), The Garbage Kicking, Field Goal Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon
DEF:
Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy
Daniel E. "Rudy" Ruettiger (Sean Astin), Rudy
Eric Olczyk (Jason M. Smith), Playmakers
Julius Campbell (Wood Harris), Remember the Titans
Stefan Djordjevic (Tom Cruise), All the Right Moves

I'm sure some of you are cursing me out and yelling at how stupid I am for not selecting at least one of the QB characters Keanu Reeves portrays. It was hard not to rank Johnny Utah, but I felt that he didn't possess the pocket presence and strength of Moxon nor the scrambling ability of the human highlight film, Beamen. I also really wanted to rank one of my favorite onscreen actors, Donald Faison for his performance as a running back on Remember the Titans.
This process wasn't easy, scouting players, salary caps, conflicting personalities, and the cuts that needed to be made during training camp. Though, I do recommend renting all these movies, buying a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, some chips and seven layer dip, and watching these movies on a weekend and scout these players for yourself. Or even better, I challenge you to assemble a better team that can compete with this group of talent.

Agent GV's Top 10 - Tight Ends

2005-07-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

Top TEs:

1. Tony Gonzalez
2. Antonio Gates
3. Todd Heap
4. Alge Crumpler
5. Jason Whitten
6. Jeremy Shockey
7. Dallas Clark
8. L.J. Smith
9. Chris Cooley
10. Eric Johnson

*Other notable TEs:
Jermaine Wiggins, Jeb Putzuer, Randy McMichael

Agent GV's Top 10 - Wide Receivers

2005-07-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

Top WRs:

1. Torry Holt
2. Randy Moss
3. Marvin Harrison
4. Chad Johnson
5. Terrell Owens
6. Anquan Boldin
7. Andre Johnson
8. Michael Clayton
9. Roy Williams
10. Javon Walker

*Other notable WRs:
Joe Horn, Steve Smith, Darrell Jackson, Hines Ward, Jerry Porter